Seeking Advice in a Story Tell.

by dan751 7 Replies latest jw friends

  • dan751

    Hello everyone,

    I'm new to this forum, but my girlfriend, manda-xo ( {her opening thread}, came across it some time ago and wish to share my story as well as look for some advice and opinions on how to proceed from the current standpoint with my family. Yes, it's true that I was born into JW cult. Aapproxiamately 6 years ago Manda and I started dating, I started coming into my own around that point, and recently (past year-ish) she helped me fully realize "truth" behind the organization.

    We'd been living on our own for a couple years, until now, August 1, 2011. With job loss, we decided to move back to our respective parents places for a little bit to get ourselves jobs and re-established. Her family, whom never were witnesses, were more than happy take her back in and help her move towareds a fulfilling career. My parents said they will turn the page and move forward with helping me out. We had both been considering going back to school for some months before August, and I had presented the idea of staying with them for about a year till I complete my high schooling. Something they needed to consider, of course, and I respect that. I spoke with my little sister who is starting high school this year, asked her about what she wanted to do after school, a red flag went off inside when she said that she wants to do full time pioneer work. I told her that I have her best interests at heart and just want her to be happy, so I want her to think critically over her future. She was yelled at and given unneccassary greif for talking to a "worldly person", me.

    The following morning, wasn't a pleasant one. Before they go to their meeting, they woke me up to have a "talk". It wasn't one I was looking forward to, though, I knew it was coming from talking to my little sister. In any case, when the discussion started, they immediately started talking about religion, and I stopped them and asked them to "respectfully, keep religion out of the discussion". And my mother said that I hit the final nail in the wood. That my stay with them wasn't working to begin with, and now they see why I can't stay there any longer. That it's a detrement to their spirituality. I explained them that I keep my activities from them, respectfully. Needless to say, we established strong differences in spiritual values, among other things I hope to one day talk with them about if they leave their group of men in Brooklyn. But, nonetheless, the conversation lasted about an hour and ending in me needing to move out in a couple weeks time. Probably not longer than September start at latest, a date, they didn't provide. They won't let me stay till I have enough to get my own place, they won't actually assist me financially, and yet, they have the audacity to throw it in my face with my mother telling me that she saw an ad in the paper for student housing too far from the school to get to on time. and she blindly thinks that's helping me.

    I will admit I am very very hurt by what's happened, but I ask for any advice that anyone would be able to provide. I'm sorry that it's such a depressing story. I'm looking into government assistance, but it'll probably be about 3 weeks before something solid comes from it.

    Thanks for reading and I appreicate alll the comments in advance!! :)

  • kazar

    Welcome to the board dan. I am sorry about the mess you are in. Social Services may be able to help you. There are a few people in my neighborhood who have gone to SS and receive a check monthly. It isn't much but it beats a blank until you and your girlfriend can pool resources. Social Services will also give you a one-time emergency check when you make application. It may tide you over. Other than that I don't know what would help you. Being without a source of income is one of the worst things that can happen to a person and it is compounded with your situation with your parents being JW and evicting you; I do know JWs who have done what your parents did and others who have been in your situation. It's deplorable.

    I'm sure someone on this board will have some sage advice for you.

  • ABibleStudent

    Welcome dan751 and I am sorry to hear about your situation. Unfortunately, the economy sucks right now, so your options are limited. Although you did not do anything bad from a "Worldly" perspective, you did not do what your parents wanted in their house, and they sound like they are in full-cult mode. Have your parents in the past cycled from cult-mode to caring parents quickly? Here a few ideas to consider:

    • Apply for low-income assistance programs (i.e., welfare, food-stamps, low-income housing, student loans, etc.). If in the USA, you can go to local libraries to access the internet to search for on-line resouces
    • Put school on hold and work at several jobs even if it is house/pet-sitting, flipping burgers, cleaning dishes, managing an apartment complex, or cleaning rooms for a year until you are more financially secure
    • Join the military or domestic job-corps
    • See if elderly people need someone to live in their house and help out with maintaining their house
    • Use to locate rooms for rent and possible jobs
    • Ask your GF's parents if you can stay with them for a month if you need to.
    • Ask non-JW friends/family if you can crash at their place for a month
    • Checkout local churchs and homeless shelters

    I hope and pray that things go well for you. Also, go to the library and see if you can checkout Steve Hassan's books (e.g., "Combatting Cult Mind Control") to help you talk with your parents. I know how your parents are treating you really sucks, but the WTBTS is very good at controlling the thoughts and actions of its members.

    Peace be with you and everyone, who you love,


  • dan751

    Thank you for your replies. I apprecaite your suggestions. I have been looking into social services, most definitely. It's a bit of a wait, but I'll probably have to go to a homeless shelter until social services approve me.

    Yes, they are in full-cult mode, and yes, they have gone from cult-mode to caring quickly in the past.

  • still thinking
    still thinking

    Welcome dan751....

  • jamiebowers

    As a step-mother who has opened her home to both of my adult step-kids, this kind of story just breaks my heart. I doubt there is much welfare can do for you aside from temporary foodstamp assistance. Do you have any non-jw family that you can turn to? If not, a homeless shelter may be your best bet until you can get a job and place of your own.

    What a corrupt, vile corporation the Wachtower is! I hope those bastards in Brooklyn sleep well at night knowing that they're alienating children from parents. They, after all, have beds to sleep in.

  • palmtree67

    My JW ex-husband kicked my son out of the house within a week of him telling us he no longer wanted to attend meetings.

    I am sad for anyone else who has to go through what we went through.


    My son and I are closer than ever today, because I did not go along with the shunning. Good luck to you, darling.


  • dan751

    Thank you Still Thinking, Jamie and Palm for your replies also. I appreciate the roses too.

    Unfortunately, I have no non-jw family or friends that I can turn to, that live close enough in any case.

    @Jamie: The beds that the bastards in Brooklyn sleep on are probably made of donation money.

    @Palm: I'm happy to hear that you have a strong relationship with your son. Thank you for the wishes of good luck.

    Honestly, I have hope and pray that my little sister will one day see light and leave the JWs, and hopefully, my parents will follow suit.

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