That Holy Spirit sure is a funny fellow!

by Aussie Oz 6 Replies latest watchtower beliefs

  • Aussie Oz
    Aussie Oz

    Musing the other day on times past and things i have learned

    I came to my appointment as a servant and also as a regular pioneer and Bethel application.

    I guess Mr Spirit figured that even though i was looking at porn frequently, he would just pop the idea of appointing me into the local elders heads. As well as the Circuit overseer of course. So intent was Mr Spirit on my appointment that he even had the elders fail to mention it to me at all! Why, so enthusiastic was he to have me made a servant, that on the very day i had been looking at a playboy magazine, he had the elders announce my appointment from the platform before discussing it with me!

    When i told the elders what i had been doing they had to run back to the c/o who soundly told them off... but my appointment stayed... Mr Holy Spirit was insistant it seems. I guess he just knew i had what it took to be a servant. So when i finally applied to become a pioneer, he must have rejoiced greatly even though he surely must have known that i was only doing it out of peer pressure.

    Out of desperation to try and live up to Mr Spirits obvious belief in me, i even applied for Bethal construction. As the elders and circuit overseer considered my application, we all got to the subject of those filthy magazines but sometime before they prayed over me, Mr Guidance must have reasured them all was cool because they told me that it was no obstical to my application! Wow! Mr Spirit must have been the man of the moment because evidently he even convinced the big boys in Sydney to approve it and ask me to get my ass up there pronto!

    Later, as i was slowly self destructing and visiting strip clubs, still Mr Spirit was able to convince the elders to keep me on as a servant. He must have some powerful mojo thats for sure because they even let me be on the public talk roster for other congregations, and i would have done them had i not had enough by then.

    I never had a single obstical to what may have been a stella rise to eldership...until i self destructed, then Mr Holy was just impotent. Like a flacid willy, useless except for peeing.

    Mr Holy Spirit?

    More like Mr Holy Shit.


  • Broken Promises
    Broken Promises

    Maybe Mr Holy Spirit liked porn too.

  • SirNose586

    Hey, he knocked up Mary...why not?

  • jean-luc picard
    jean-luc picard

    Have you not considered that maybe Mr Spirit has you earmarked to be part of the governing body one day?

    Maybe you are like Moses, who spent 40 years tending the sheep of his father in law before he was finally called to his real purpose.

    On another note, maybe the elders and the CO were applying Jesus council:

    let the one without sin cast the first stone. They didnt ask for the copy of Playboy as "evidence" by any chance?

  • FreeAtLast1914

    Good one. My dad was also going to strip clubs when he was reappointed as an elder. He conveniently never turned himself in, and in fact later figured out he must be anointed. That Holy Spirit guy is full of surprises.

  • kurtbethel

    Playboy is porn? Boy, have you lived a sheltered life!

  • Aussie Oz
    Aussie Oz

    I did indeed live a sheltered life my friend...


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