help! husband going to convention

by leftchica 9 Replies latest watchtower bible

  • leftchica

    Hi friends!

    So my story is this: i married a jw who was inactive and once we got married he got back into "the truth" and i started to "study" with people in his congregation. i had many red flags and was hesitant to knocking on doors, but after a year of "what does the bible teach" being studied with a pioneer and having been pressured to go to meetings, i too, became a jw. I was active doing studies as well and it wasnt until a voice in my head said "this is a cult" during a talk at the memorial, did i start to research the jw religiion on line.

    Its 2 years later, I have dissasociated myself and my husband is still a jw. It has been the hardest 2 years of my life. I have educated myself with all the info i can, cult awarness classes, meeting with ex elders, reading steven hassan books, and reading the bible (without wt material). Since then, I have become a christian and my husband has slowly started to miss meetings. Yesterday he told me he cant wait for the convention. my stomach turned and instantly i began to panic.

    My thought is this..either he will go and become more deeply involved due to all the talks about how soon the world is ending and so forth. I remember that the conventions always pushed us to go out in ministry and make all meetings. My husband believes its "the truth" but hasnt attended a meeting in 2 months. I was hopefull he was doubting, maybe he is, but gooing to the convention with fellow "freinds"who know im an apostate scares me. Love bombing will follow. and he will sucker right back in.

    What i would like to know, is what are the "talks" about, especially anything cult=related, like apostate talks, no education, we only have the truth, new light, obey the slave, that kind of stuff. I would like to prepare for myself a counter response to some of these crazy talks. I am curious what he will be hearing and if i can find ways to prove some of these "truths" false.

    If any one has any suggestions on how I can help my husband please let me know!

    thank you


  • Broken Promises
    Broken Promises
    What i would like to know, is what are the "talks" about, especially anything cult=related, like apostate talks, no education, we only have the truth, new light, obey the slave, that kind of stuff. I would like to prepare for myself a counter response to some of these crazy talks. I am curious what he will be hearing and if i can find ways to prove some of these "truths" false.

    At the top of this page, in the blue bar, is a button called "Search". Click on it and type "District convention 2011". There are heaps of threads on the subject and they should help you find out what you need to know.

  • blondie

    I might add that not attending meetings does not equal becoming a non-believer. Even df'd jws can be believers just lacking the motivation to do what the WTS requires. Some think they can determine when the end is coming and jump back in at the last moment. Others feel it is the "truth" by they are not worthy and will never be. I was inactive 2 times but still a "believer" and eventually went back. The third time was 10 years ago and never a desire to go back.

    So why has he missed meetings, to do social or recreational things?

  • Scully

    Conventions are powerful reinforcers of cult mentality.

    When you go to a couple of Meetings™ a week, with the same people over and over again, the social aspect becomes a bit stale, and some people have a tendency to miss here and there, because it is the same-ol'-same-ol' pretty much every week.

    Conventions, on the other hand, are like a blood transfusion to someone who is severely anemic. It's a different place from the routine. It's with thousands of different people. You go out for dinners to restaurants with The Friends™, you all get excited about the talks, and there's a ritual when socializing at conventions to share what you felt was a highlight from the talks with everyone else, and everyone else shares their highlights with everyone else.

    People who attend conventions, though they might be physically tired from the experience, always feel they are Spiritually™ energized. They are on a "high" that can last for quite a while afterward.

    You can be sure that there will be talks focused on avoiding Apostates™ or Apostate Reasoning™. So you may want to cool your jets on that front for a bit.

    What I'd focus on has nothing to do with the doctrines or beliefs. I'd ask How many times did they talk about donating? How many times did they bring up giving them money? Because that is the central purpose for holding a convention as far as the WTS is concerned. And the Spiritual™ "high" that many JWs are on when they attend a convention keeps them from noticing the many times that cash-flow is a priority.

  • blond-moment

    There are youtube recordings of the talks as well. It was one of the things that helped to wake me up. I was having serious doubts tho, I was desparately (sad to think of how desparately now) trying to hang on to believing in them. I had been reading some watchtower articles on the "official" watchtower site and read one pertaining to the media. I was starting to look on the net for the first time, and I was in fear mode. So I wanted to arm myself (gag again).

    Anyway I read this article Particually down where it talks about "making generalizations, name calling, and playing on emotions". Then I found the talk on youtube about Beware Apostates! I was soooo worried about becoming an apostate myself (oh how that word struck terror in me).

    I listened to that talk, and got more and more angry. They did EXACTLY what they warned about in that article. It was almost word for word what you should look out for. Even that wasn't my final straw, but it was a big straw that broke. It is amazing looking back, how hard I was fighting to keep believing in them. Even with everything right in my face, I still WANTED to believe in them. I was scared of the alternative.

    I fully understand just how hard it is to break free. But each straw that broke, it got easier. I was extremely grateful for sites like this. Even tho you big bad apostates scared me haha, it was so helpful to see that I wasn't crazy.

  • DesirousOfChange

    Conventions, on the other hand, are like a blood transfusion...

    Does anyone else see some humorous irony in this illustration?

  • Scully


    Yeah, it was intentional.

  • dm6

    broken promises - are you a kiwi? in NZ? Only kiwis ever use the term "heaps" lol

  • moshe

    Sometimes what you save isn't worth the effort. Sorry your husband isn't as perceptive about the WT Org as you are.

  • leftchica

    thanks for your posts!

    @blondie..yes, i agree. just because he isnt going doesnt mean he doenst belive its the" truth", in my opinion he isnt going becaue he feels "spirtually weak" which has been programmed in his mind by the elders. he has always been a non consisntant jw, however when he goes he comments and is a perfect jw. when he is home he wants to go out and drink and have an occasional smoke or two. so i do believe he wrestles with the good/evil mentallitly they push on the if you miss a meeting you are lacking spirtiuallity, so its almost like " oh well, i missed 4 meetings so now i might as well do worldly things..i will clean my act up after the convention"...or so i feel is the way he thinks. i remember when i was a jw, we would get all pumped up and TRY to be the model jw , study more, comment more, service more ect but it always faded out in a few months. The thing is he knows i feel its a cult and am very adiment that i will never step foot in a kingdom hall ever again. Dont you think an off and on again jw would be a little curious about WHY his wife is so against it?

    @blonde moment. thanks so much i will look up that info!!! @ scully... great idea on what to focus on. i feel i am running out of options. Nothing i have said in the past has made much impact. doctrines he could care less about, pedofile stuff, generation change..he didnt even know about it and still doesnt he missed so many meetings.

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