Loosing loved ones to death while still a witness

by man in black 7 Replies latest jw experiences

  • man in black
    man in black

    Just wondering,,, have any of you lost family members or friends to death while you were still a jw ?

    If so, how did you feel about it while still a witness, and perhaps how did your viewpoint change after leaving, thinking that soon everything

    you were taught about the "coming new order" would become reality ?

    I lost several members while a witness, but when my Mom died three years ago it really showed me how totally uncaring these people can be.

    While I was out of state helping my Dad get everything taken care of a week after she died one lady told my wife at the hall,

    "well you know that he needs to come back to the kh soon so that we can tell him how sorry we all are".

    Just wondering if anyone else has experienced something like this, Thank you for your comments !

  • dm6

    Whilst i was studying to become a JW about a year ago, my aunty died who was a JW, i saw her in hospital the day before she died. I stayed with her and my uncle too.

    It was really sad i thought, that at the funeral, the talk on her was short but the talk on resurection and all JW related stuff was much longer. I was disgusted by this, as was the whole entire family as no one else was a JW except my uncle, and i was just a study.

  • NVR2L8

    I lost my dad nearly 8 years ago...the funeral talk was like an info-commercial for the WT. After a brief few words on my dad's accomplishments as a JW, the rest of the talk was aimed at the non-witnesses in attendance. In order to be reunited with the deceased all needed to come into God's organization to enter the new world and be there when our dear ones are resurected...My sister in-law who was never a witness said after the talk that she needed to join the JW quickly if she wanted to see dad again! Then in the last 3 years I lost 3 other close friends...2 to cancer and one took his own life. The talks were similar, but in the two first cases the speakers spend more time talking about the person that died and also comforting the family. One thing that struck me was how the people in the KHall acted...it was like they were at a regular meeting...some were even joking and laughing. Others were happy to see friends from far away. I felt like no one had respect for those mourning the loss of a close one. In the case of my dad, he was cremated and his ashes were disposed of in an undisclosed location...that was also a lack of respect for those in his family who wished they had a place where they could go to remember their brother...or father. But that's often the JW way...resurection is just around the corner, who needs to know where they rest...they are alive in Jehovah's memory....

  • exwhyzee

    My Non Witness father studied for many years but never could bring himself to go from door to door. He knew the "TRUTH" inside out but just was too shy to do the preaching work so they stopped studying with him. He lived his life as a Witness would in every respect.

    Years later he needed Bypass surgery. His doctor told him he'd be out of the Hospital in 3 days. The surgery went fine but on the second day, his blood count dropped dangerously low because of a leak in one of the arteries. After being assured by his doctor that he'd never need blood he signed the no blood papers just in case what he had learned about the blood issue from the JW's was true . Now because he was unconscious, he couldn't resend his directive. His blood count was too low for them to operate without blood so he continued to bleed until eventually he died.

    When we were kids the Witnesses used to tell him that he would die at Armegeddon because he had come to an accurate knowledge but didn't get baptized, which really traumatized us kids. Now they all said that he'd be resurrected because he took a stand for Jehovah in the end. Even though they thought he was forgiven by Jehovah and deserving of everlasting life, they still wouldn't let us have his memorial at the Hall.

    A few years later, Brooklyn decided it was OK to take blood fragments. If he'd have lived long enoug to learn this, he'd be alive today to enjoy his retirement and grandchildren. I'm sure he'd have realized that these people don't know what they are doing and have no business advising people on medical issues and would never have signed the no blood paperwork.

  • NVR2L8


    Sorry for your loss, especially when all of this could have been avoided...My medical directive was tossed in the trash can a while back because I just can't gamble my life on a policy that has changed several times because the WT was at risk of being sued. If it was truly based on divine law, it would have never changed.

  • Gayle

    I was reminded recently by a long lost JW friend, that my mom will be so disappointed when she is resurrected to see none of her 5 kids there,who have left the "truth" ( = program ).

    We were all promised she would be resurrected very soon. That was 1970, 41 ones years ago. Their 'soon' becomes so meaningless.

  • pubtruth

    I lost my father at the age of 8, I was too entrenched in the "truth" that i barely grieved. I actually thought I would see him again SOON. 12 years later, I have a new viewpoint of where we end up and that we're never coming back. The way I was raised discombobulated my youth and distorted a lot of things, I missed my father, but I never properly grieved the loss. Thankfully his funeral was "secular", as he was agnostic. I did have to deal with the disgrace of a "Fune-mercial" for the WT. I lost my grandmother at 14, and pretty much the same happened, just she was a Catholic. So I was barred from attending the funeral.

  • alias

    man in black,

    I am so sorry to know your mother passed away. Please check your PMs -- I sent you a message.


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