need advice to free family

by strymeckirules 7 Replies latest social family

  • strymeckirules

    my family and me havent talked in over a year since i found out about the cult.

    yesterday my mother texted me that she misses me and she loves me. short message.

    yesterday my sister also texted me to ask how i am. also short message.

    now, i am an apostate and they are not allowed to talk to me. i have made no efforts to contact them.

    i really want to free my family, but i don't want to mess up any chance by replying in the wrong way.

    they have come to me to talk, so i have the ball in my hands. i just don't know which way to run with it.

    last time i saw any of them was when i tryed to show my father the facts. but it was just me and dad argueing. and he hasn't tried to contact me.

    and mother and sister basiclly never got to say goodbye to me. last time they saw my face i was still "jdub". then "POOF" i disappear.

    what would you do if this was your situation?

  • cyberjesus

    Tell them you love them. That's all you can do. They are trapped and you won't get them out unless you spend a lot of money on a professional intervntionnt in the USA they are illegal

  • jamiebowers

    Consult Combatting Cult Mind Control by Steven Hassan.

  • ABibleStudent

    Hi strymeckirules, I agree with jamiebowers to read Steve Hassan's books (e.g., "Combatting Cult Mind Control" and ) "Releasing the Bonds: Empowering People to Think for Themselves") and visit Steve Hassan's website for more ideas. You should also read Raymond Franz's books (e.g., "Crisis of Conscience") if your family is inclined to openly discuss doctrines and practices of the WTBTS. The best thing that you can do is not to argue with your family about the WTBTS. Even if your familiy starts to shun you, always send them emails/cards with pictures of you enjoying your life. Showing your family that you are doing well is the best way to counter act the WTBTS indoctrination. Also, if you feel inclined to pray, then pray for your family.

    Peace be with you and everyone, who you love,


  • Black Sheep
    Black Sheep
    .... but i don't want to mess up any chance by replying in the wrong way.

    Refuse to discuss religion with them until such time as you know how to do that without scaring them off. This might be never. It certainly isn't now, or you wouldn't be asking.

    Meanwhile, be friendly and discuss anything else.

    If they get pushy, make it clear that they are welcome to share their time with you regardless of what religion they are and that if they decide to shun you because of their religious beliefs, that is their choice, not yours.

    You were not given a choice by your parents. You didn't ask them to raise you in a church that encourages shunning its non-believing children. That was their choice. Make it clear that you will not be held responsible for their bad behaviour as a result of their choices.

    Be gentle.

  • RayPublisher

    I had some success reasoning w a family member on what an "apostate" really is. There is some good info here:

    But they may not listen at all...Love and persistence is the best thing you can do. Send them a letter, card, email, txt, from time to time. And don't stop. Every few weeks do it again. And again. And again. Let them know what you are doing, tell them how you feel in positive and upbuilding lines of thought. They will read them and they will see that you are doing well and that you have not stopped loving them.

    Only my opinion- hang in there.

  • Nickolas

    Love them, knowing you may never be able to free them. Recognise and acknowledge to them that your defection has caused them pain and for that you are truly saddened. Tell them that your heart aches to see them, to speak with them, laugh with them again, because you love them without qualification. But tell them too that truth is as important to you as it is to them, that you need to be true to yourself and you can no longer sustain belief in important matters that no longer ring true to you. Tell them that you recognise this may be something that cannot be reconciled between you but it should not be the end of something as beautiful as the love between mother and son, father and son, sister and brother. Tell them you realise they just might not want to talk about it at all, but tell them that you are willing to help them understand if they are willing to listen. Tell them that you are regardless prepared to live with the differences between you if only they can live with them too. That's all you can do. All the best.

  • Pams girl
    Pams girl

    Nickolas said it

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