maintaining sanity

by wizardca 9 Replies latest jw experiences

  • wizardca

    Sigh. I've posted a few times mostly about personal life with the WT. I haven't been to an indoctrinationsales meeting in years (7+?). guess you could say I'm a third generation JDub, or was...though technically I'm inactive. My grandparents are very into the WT and one of my siblings....another is on the fence depending on their mood that day. None of the rest of the fam is into it any more or they never were part of it. I go visit the GPs on occasion and get the "Jehovah loves you and wants you at the meetings" and "don't you want to survive armageddon to see xyz? I know they will want to see you when they are resurrected". Blah blah blah. I usually do the head nod, uh huh, yeah, uh huh.

    Getting married to a non-JW at the end of summer. So the fiance and went to see the GPs. The GPs never really bring up religion if I have a buffer. I knew in the back of my head they would bring it up but just w-a-s-n-t expecting it. Sigh.

    The fiance was asked "so what do you think about marrying into a Jehovah's Witness family?" Keeping in mind I never attend anything any more. Gave the we talked about the JW doctrine and such. Kinda tried to change topic. Then I got asked what I thought about marrying into a family that is Catholic. Didn't give much in reply other than it's different. Which of course was followed up with being told how the "world's" morals are so bad like Sodom and Gomorrah, how there was homosexuality there which is against the bible and how they make movies about gays and how it wasn't until recently that sodomy was made legal.

    I really wanted to to mention how Lot's daughters raped their father and committed incest with him, but that's ok compared to possibly sodomy and allowing Lot's daughters to be raped by the masses. So stupid. Then of course I have a nephew who is gay, one of the fiance's relatives is gay...there is a gay couple invited to the wedding and a lesbian. Did I mention the minister who is doing the wedding is gay? Oh wait, didn't mention any of that to them. I know they are old and mean well...but really?

    The fiance leaves the room eventually. I get grilled asking if I go to sales meetings occasionally. "uh huh". Make sure I go to the memorial and not partake. The district convention was in my city this year and did I go? Actually it was in the city next to the one I live in and wouldn't ya know it I had family in town, couldn't make it.

    Be strong. Sorry. Just had to vent.

  • jamiebowers

    What in the world does your fiance think of them? Are ypu baptized? If so, you can be df'd for marrying in a church or by a minister. I'm sorry you're going through this, but maybe you should just tell them the truth, that you don't consider yourself a jw, especially if you're not baptized or on your way to being df'd.

  • sizemik

    Yeah it's hard work . . . especially when they're gettin' old. After time passes it's like talking to aliens from another planet . . . ET just wants to go home.

  • AGuest

    Yes, be strong, dear WCa (peace to you!)... and no need to apologize.

    Peace to you!

    A slave of Christ,


  • wizardca

    Jamie - yes I was dunked many years ago. I faded not so long after and have generally been invited to memorials/the DCs. Nothing of substance has been done about my non-JW relationships over the years; other family realized they need to ignore my choices if they want a relationship with me. They generally look the other way, don't want to know. Ideally they would want me back in the mindless fold. A relative that is inactive went to a wedding in a church and nothing was done. The GPs did mention to another relative that if I were married in a church they wouldn't be able to attend. So I am not doing so, would like them at my wedding.

    I very much doubt they would go to my former congregation elders (if any that I know are still even there) and tell them. I am sure I am just a small memory from years ago at most. Since I am not actively associating with any of JWs or congregation really no point in forming a JC, especially since I will just ignore them. :) The fiance just doesn't get some of the church doctrine, mainly non-celebration of any holidays, birthdays and the whole blood deal (you can have bits and pieces but not all of it at once).

  • punkofnice

    This is SO typical of watchtower mentality and the 'mind cleansing' they've been through.

    I'll wager a kings ransom that 99.9999% of dub families trot out the same assinine stuff about the big 'A' and the benefits of being indoctrinated by the WTB$.

    It's the same stuff I hear.

    .......and what chaps my ass is when they tell me: 'Oh, but you KNOW it's the 'truth', you're just going thru' a bad patch. You'll be back!'

    Bleedin' well wont!! Never going back to that filthy disgusting cult!

    I guess I should feel sorry for them in dubby delusional dreamland!!

  • jamiebowers

    I hope you're correct about no one pursuing you for a jc, and you're lucky if you are right about it. If none of your jw family shows up to your wedding, count your blessings. On that day you want only people who wish the best for you, your new bride and your future together, not a bunch who stand around clucking their tongues about pagan origins and other imagined sins.

    Congrats on your engagement, have the happiest of wedding days and an even happier future!

  • exwhyzee
    "don't you want to survive armageddon to see xyz?

    Since you mentioned my name kind of...I thought I'd throw in my two cents !

    I think I'd have answered their question by saying something like ..."If there really is to be a 'New System" I fully expect to be there. What makes you think I have ever done anything worthy of God destroying me or sentencing me to eternal cutting off...the same fate as Adolph Hitler or some Axe Murderer might receive ? I know you mean well but your question makes it sound as if you've made up your mind about me being a've judged me and sentenced me to death ! What do you really know about my relationship with God to make that kind of a judgement call ?

  • wizardca

    It's been over a month and am happy to report my JW family will not be attending because "I am baptized brother and she isn't". No one understands that reasoning for not attending the wedding, not even I. Not like anyone was asking them to participate in the ceremony. So instead of a "neutral" christian-like ceremony so their conscience wouldn't bother them....we are going all out and hitting up a full on Catholic ceremony. Yeehaw! LOL

  • flipper

    WIZARDCA- Interesting experience. Thanks for posting. I would suggest hanging out more with your non- witness family with your fiance as there would be less chance for confrontation or less chance of the grandparents trying to push their JW marketing into you and your fiances minds. Sometimes, well- many times JW's just don't respect boundaries and they are all too willing to cross over those boundaries in order to push JW beliefs onto people. Just my 2 cents. Good luck to you and your fiance

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