Living in fear

by darthfader 3 Replies latest jw friends

  • darthfader

    My Wife and I have been trying to put a finger on our personal motivations. What drives us to do what we do?

    It comes down to this basic fact: We are afraid. Afraid of what? Well, we are afraid of missing opportunities (If we don’t do it, someone else will and they will be successful), we are afraid of companies or people to whom we are financially indebted to and the collection agencies they would use against us. We are afraid of damaging our credit rating. We are afraid of upsetting our family or friends – they may abandon us or worse – tell others not to talk to us.

    I feel that this core fear has been pressed into our souls by being members of a fear controlled group. We have not been to meetings in over 10 years, yet its affects linger on and on…

    It’s time to live for desire and not fear. It’s going to be a hard battle, but I wanted to put it down in writing as a note to myself and maybe start a helpful discussion.


  • jamiebowers

    Soe fear is normal. It's what keeps people going to work and paying their ills instead of being a beach bum or something. But fear of expressing your thoughts or having your own views at the expense of keeping family and friends is abnormal. People who care about you are suppsed to stick with you, not abandon you at the first sign of "trouble".

    Although I've lost my mother, (probably forever, since she's shunned me for almost 24 years), and my brother, (who shunned me for 20 years until he left the borg), being df'd was the best thing that ever happened to me. It freed me to develop real friendshps, re-establish relationships with "worldly" relatives, obtain a college degree, and have a loving, normal family. I wish the best for you as you pursue freeom from fear.

  • darthfader

    Thank you Jamie!

  • Heaven

    darthfader, I have lived in fear my whole life. I am trying not to do that anymore but 40+ years of it takes time to undo. I like your statement...

    It’s time to live for desire and not fear.

    I was never raised to pursue my dreams. It was 'get a good job at a good company... oh, but you can't go to College.' I ignored that last bit and I did go to College but not for what I was passionate about. I went so I good get a good job at a good company. Sigh. I have had a good job at a good company all my adult life. It pays the bills but is not really fulfilling. Have to work on that part. My next goal is to reach retirement eligibility (3 years off) and then see where I go from there.

    I am hoping the last half of my life is even better than the first half. I think it's do-able. And, darthfader, I am wishing and hoping that you also can shuck the fear and live the life you were meant to live. It's time to start having fun!

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