how do you help a JW get out?

by visitor 525 7 Replies latest jw friends

  • visitor 525
    visitor 525

    a little background info

    i have never been a JW always felt the "cult" was not something I wanted to get involved in

    anyway I hired a young man about a year ago to do a little remodel on my house I found out later he was a JW. we talked a litttle about scripture and what he believed then he started to come to my door on sat in his nice suit. this really turned me off cause everythung he said sounded rehearsed. he only lives about 15 min from me and I have ran into him a couple of time in town and he wont hardly speak to me about anything that has to do with JWs. but has offered many times to come to the house to study. i totally feel uncomfortable letting him back in my house. i heard through the grapevine that he put me on a "list" that meant i was close to converting WRONG!!

    it's been about 6 months since i've had any contact with this guy but he is constantly on my heart. i know that he is being missled and in turn is missleading others. after reading some post on this sight i understand that walking away from the JWs is very difficult. Is there anything I can do to help this guy out without getting him in trouble? i've thought about sending him stuff in the mail to read. good/bad idea? any suggestions would be appreciated thxs.

  • Retrovirus

    Hi and welcome, Visitor!

    I'm another non-jw, and would dearly like to get my SIL and a couple of others out. Unfortunately it is very difficult to do.

    As you've found, everything has to be done the jw way. Of course this young man will arrive in a suit and "study" the "Bible" with you; that is, he'll bring a book called "What does the Bible really Teach" and that's what you'll study.

    Then he can count time.

    If you are not amenable to this, you are under Satanic influence and not good association. He will be fearful of contamination and being seen to be "weak" and willing to associate with "Worldlies". Cannot count time, so he's not keen on this.

    Sending books (they call it "apostate literature"!) will probably make him even more wary; now you are trying to convert him! He'll avoid you like the plague.

    Bottom line is, unless he's willing to spend time with you you have little chance. And if he is, simply encourage him to relax and have a good time. Talk about sport or cars or something. Any mention of religious stuff and all the warning bells go off.

    Can I , why is it important to you what he believes? And does it relate to your own beliefs or spirituality?


  • sizemik

    Hi visitor 525 . . .

    Helping out a deluded Fundamentalist Christian is a tall order. Many more have failed than have succeeded. If you really do want to break through however . . . you best begin by understanding the psychology involved.

    This thread has an interview in the OP which is full of valuable information . . . sorry if I seem like a barrow-pusher, but if you familiarise yourself with these concepts your chances will take a giant leap. Feel free to ask for specific ideas . . . but understand the rules of the game first.

  • NewChapter


    The list he put you on is his return visit list. It doesn't mean you're close to converting, but it does mean that he believes you may be interested in further bible discussions. Sending literature won't be effective either. While he won't consider it "apostate" per se, JW's are not in the habit of accepting religious literature. Apostate literature would be something written by an ex JW that seeks to expose the WT. They will deal with that the same way they deal with a poisonous snake. Even though you've never been a JW, if you do try to share any apostate ideas with him, he will avoid that too. And he won't read your religious literature. We used to practice turning down such literature as tactfully as possible.

    He is trying to start a bible study with you. If he succeeds, then what Retro said. He is in Witness mode with you---he feels he is there to educate YOU and not the other way around. So even if you take him up on the bible study, his mind will not be open to changing.

    How do you get through? You probably don't. For myself I came to understand that the bible was very flawed, that the flood could not have happened as written, that evolution better explains our beginnings. I also have compared the WORDS of the god with the ACTIONS of that god and see a great contradiction. In the end I concluded that the perfect god as portrayed really had more human characteristics than godly characteristics.

    There are also some who retain religious beliefs and even some bible beliefs. I can't speak for them.

    In the end you would have to engage him in conversation--preaching to him won't work. You could possibly craft some questions that make him consider 607 bce and 1914 ce. If he ever does question, don't be surprised if he does not swap one religion for another. Once the critical thinking sets in, it's hard to predict where he will end up.


  • NewChapter

    Sizemik, you have a pm

  • Black Sheep
    Black Sheep

    If by 'help', you really mean 'convert him to your religion', you really have your work cut out. The Watchtower has done a good job of poisoning your well.

    As you believe in demons yourself, you may need help just as much as he does.

    I would suggest you go the the library and get yourself some books that teach critical thinking skills. You will need them to help him see through his faulty logic, plus there will be benefits for yourself as well.



  • factfinder

    Welcome Visitor 525!

  • moshe

    ---avoid this one rescue attempt. Find a charity to personally support/help and you will be a happier person.

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