It's funny how situations like this created so much drama.

by shakyground 6 Replies latest jw experiences

  • shakyground

    I'm sitting here at work by myself reminiscing about an old situation that created unneccesary tension. A few years ago as my mother was in the hospital just diagnosed with ovarian cancer,most family were already at the hospital but my sister who lived in New York at the time had not arrived yet. My mother who was newly reinstated and knew that my sister and her ex husband now boyfriend wanted to stay the week in her house. My mother begged and pleaded with us to convince my sis and her ex to stay in a hotel. I thought that that was kinda stupid, why have them spend almost 400 bucks for a hotel for the week? I reasoned that if she promises you that she would respect your house and wishes and not fornicate while they're there, and do it anyway that is on them not on you.

    My mother had talked to an elder and he told her that since they were not married and my mother wasn't there to make sure that no fornication was taking place in her house while she was away, that it would not be right for them to stay there. My mother told me to make sure they stayed in a hotel. I said I would but I just told my sis(who never was a witness or ever studied) how mom felt and told her to promise mom that no sex would be going down this week at the house. She did promise to my mom, but my mom still very much didn't want them staying there. My sis said they would even sleep in seperate rooms but still was not enough.

    My sis was 39 at the time and her ex husband 43. They told my mom that they are not horny teenagers that couldn't control themselves for a week. That still was not enough. I just told my mom they would stay at a hotel to be done with it. Two days later my aunt who is a witness stopped by my moms house to get a few things. I arrived at the hospital later that day and my mom was furious with me for letting them stay, gee I wonder who told her they were there? lol. It ended up causing so much drama that they left back for N.Y. days earlier than they were supposed to. I remember telling a witness at work about the whole situation, and telling him that my sis said that her ex husband thinks witnesses are crazy now, and that now he wants nothing to do with witnesses and how my mom wanted to get him to study but now that probably would never happen. I wanted him to tell me yea, that was alot of uneccesary drama, but he just looked at me and said "Well with something as deadly as fornication you have to take all precautions no matter how drastic. Isn't Josh(my sis ex husband) a Catholic? You wanna talk about crazy, crazy is how Catholics marry homosexuals, and worshipping the imperfect pope. I was nodding but inside I was shaking my head.

  • straightshooter

    Thanks for sharing this experience. It just shows how the WTS has no regards for family. Family comes second to upholding the WTS rules on not being married. Amazingly if your sister was a smoker, she would be allowed in the jw home if she did not smoke. So logic only tell one that this should also be the case with not having sex in the home if one is not married.

    What happened to your sister was absurd, but to a jw it is absolutely sane.

  • NewChapter

    This religion is incredibly hard on families. The meddling is what gets me. Your mother was advised by an elder as to the decision she must make about her own house and her own daughter. Then the aunt got involved. It's just tiresome.

    I knew a sister that was nearly 90 but still feisty. Her great niece--maybe great great niece, got pregnant while single. They threw her a baby shower but this sister put her foot down. She couldn't attend the shower because the woman was not married. Now what sense does that make since the gifts were for the baby? It makes perfect sense to a witness though.

    It will never end.


  • daringhart13

    I was involved in an experience AFTER I resigned as an elder......where my friends ( The brother came to me as a respected former elder.... he was an MS) ...mother was dying of cancer....her fiancee would come over and feed her food, medication and WHEEL her to the bathroom where he had to aid her in 'relieving herself'

    No one wanted that job. he loved her so much that, even though not yet married, he was there by her side. The elders disciplined him, told the sisters NOT to help her, due to their disobedience in not having a chaperone!!!!!!!

    It was one of the final straws in my exit.

    She died. Ruined. Alone.

    When I went to the funeral at the KH, one of the elders started to approach me.....I looked at him with a look of DEATH and shook my head....he stopped in his tracks and backpedaled.

    I'm convinced I would have hit him.

  • fade_away

    When I was in I snuck around with my then girlfriend (now wife) to go on a normal date...just her and I and no group of chaperones. And yes it was usually a group of chaperones instead of one. Her and I got sick of going out with people monitoring us and giving us dirty looks everytime I gave her a quick kiss on the lips. It was the smallest things like that that caused drama and ended in the little back room with the elders. I hold her hand during the meeting, and I get a talk with the elders. I kiss her and I talk with the elders. They are WAY too paranoid and focus too much on what other people do. Things that are no big deal to a normal person, is a HUGE crime worthy of a Judicial Committee and a sentencing trial to a JW. I felt like a criminal on death row for having a girlfriend.

  • shakyground

    That's funny NewChapter because I know a sister who whould not attend the baby shower of a study because she was not married. She said even tho she got pregnant before she knew about Jehovah's laws, it would still be like honoring fornacation....

  • ShirleyW

    This story will just prove how f'ing wacky the Dubs are, quite the opposite from above, one of the elders in my cong (this is going back to the early 70's) said it would be OK to give a baby shower for a relative of a newly baptized couple, the reason being, since he and his wife were newly baptized, but his mom and sister were attending mtgs, it might encourage his pregnant unmarried sister to come into the truth if the sisters in the Cong thru her a baby shower, which the congregation did, my mom and Iwere there, his sister went on to have two other children out of wedlock and couldn't give a flying F about the Borg !

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