by MrFreeze 5 Replies latest jw friends

  • MrFreeze

    Have you ever aspired to anything? When you were young did you say "this is where I want to end up" and work towards it? Did you just decide to live by the seat of your pants? If you did aspire to something, did it come to fruition or did you give up on it?

    I ask this question because I realized I never had an answer for that age old question "what do you want to do with your life". I guess being raised a JW you aren't really supposed to go towards any personal goals. The weird thing now is that even as I am no longer in the religion and still at a young age, I still have no answer for that question. Is that a strange thing?

  • gettingafirmholdonthereallife

    No it's not strange, considering where we've been. We were taught to "disown ourselves". I was born in, and remember hearing that from a very young age. I always felt like I was smart enough to do anything I wanted to do, it just wasn't allowed, and I didn't even know what I would want to do, like you. I'm still young, but old enough to feel odd for feeling like I do. I'm 35 y/o, and am having quite a time learning just who I am and what I want and value. Since leaving the JW life 2 yrs ago, I've had to somewhat start over, as if I was a teen again. As soon as I stopped going to mtgs, though, I did begin school full time, as I knew I wanted an education, a real one. Other than that, I do often feel like what you describe, kind of like I've just been bumbling though life to this point, getting blown in various directions. I suppose it will get better the older we get. And my children do give me a strong focal point and the goal of raising them successfully. I have started a "bucket list" of things I want to accomplish or experience before I'm too old too.

    Don't worry too much about it, or stress about having a "direction". Enjoy as much of life as you can on a day to day basis. It seems that things in life have a way of becoming clear over time. I wish you the best of luck!


  • jeckle


  • MrFreeze

    thanks gettingafirmhold.

  • Broken Promises
    Broken Promises

    I feel the same. I'm 41 and I still don't know what I want to do when I grow up.

    Mainly because I wasn't allowed to have any career dreams or aspirations. I had the grades that meant I should have breezed into university, but to do so would have meant being disowned by the family. So I just tried to get any job I could.

  • fortis et liber
    fortis et liber

    My childhood experience was much like gettingafirmhold’s, I too was a born in and was taught to be entirely selfless, to cultivate a mind that would quickly and effectively snuff out each and every notion of ‘self’. That is to say that who I really was as an individual entity was summarily lost to the collective needs of the whole, the Borg. I do remember, quite distinctly, always being curious about the world in general, how it works and how we, as a species relate to it; of course, I was never allowed to follow any of these notions through to developing some sort of personal goals or ambitions from them but, the seeds of ….something were there, deep within me.

    I left at the age of 27 and almost immediately turned my attention to getting an education, my lack of a having a well rounded one always troubled me. In the beginning, I began by taking night courses (I was employed full-time) at our state school supplemented by various courses at the community college, all general education subjects, all in preparation for some form of serious academic study. It was during this time period that I solidified my curiosities about our human, physical interaction with our surrounding, built environment—coupled with an almost overwhelming desire to actually make a tangible contribution to society (as opposed to my previous supposed vocation of ‘making converts’ to the Borg)—into a career path, I wanted to become an architect.

    It was a long, long arduous road. As I mentioned, I left in ’97 and have been working either directly on my degrees or in some form, in preparation (intellectually/financially) of them and just this past December (2010) I got my Masters.

    What helped me realize this goal was actually taking the time (it felt so selfish, at first) to assess who I was as an individual, separate and apart from the Borg. As I discovered myself, I discovered my desires; the ambition and drive to pursue my dreams naturally followed.

    ~ Fortis

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