The Honest JW Bible

by Essan 1 Replies latest jw friends

  • Essan


    In the beginning, Jehovah ORGANIZED the universe. Now the earth was disorderly and unproductive and not at all UPBUILDING. And God said "could we be doing MORE". And Jehovah's magic electricity began stimulating and upbuilding throughout the territory. And Jehovah began to issue DIRECTIVES, including but not limited to "It would be proper at this stage for there to be light". And, of course, his directives were followed in a timely manner, as is proper. Then, God reviewed the work that had been done and felt that the assignment had been properly carried out. And, as he felt that it was important to be balanced in all matters, the light was allocated a certain amount of hours in which it was not expected to report for it's assigned duties as part of God's Organization. The light accepted these adjustments with humble obedience. This concluded the session for that day.

    God commenced the next session with a rousing address to the waters, which climaxed with the instruction that they be ORGANIZED into two groups, a heavenly group and and an earthly group. What a thrilling announcement! And what a wonderful arrangement instituted by the grand Organizer of the Universe! This concluded the session for that day.

    The next session began with a meeting to assign territory. The water was assigned territory which it was required to cover in a given time, while the land was likewise assigned territory to cover. They accepted their assigned territories gratefully and without complaint and covered it in the time alloted. What a fine example those faithful servants of Jehovah set for us today. May we always be as diligent in following theocratic instruction.

    Anyone else feel inspired?


    not enough exclamation marks !!!


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