Religious guilt puts brakes on sex lives

by Thetis 9 Replies latest social relationships

  • Thetis

    Article in our local paper stating that Atheists have far better sex lives than religious people, who are plagued with guilt during intercourse and for weeks afterwards, researches have found.

    A study found that non-believers were more willing to discuss sexual fantasies and more satisfied with their experiences....

    Then went on to say that strict religions such as Mormons ranked highest on the scale of sexual guilt. Their average score was 8.19 out of 10. They were followed closely by Jehovah's Witnesses, Pentecostals, Seventh Day Adventists and Baptists. Interesting that Catholics scored 6.34.

    This article brought back memories for me as a newly married JW. I went to my GP (Jewish) and discussed among other things, that I felt so guilty about sex.... He misunderstood me and said ""just obey the 11th commandment"" - DONT GET

    I was riddled with guilt about fantasizing.....a woman needs a bit of help! I have come a long way since then.

  • Aussie Oz
    Aussie Oz

    Can you scan and post that article?

    sounds like a good one to file away...


  • LouBelle

    All I can say it's so wonderful being guilt free. I have embraced my sexuality and am quite happy to practise till, well till I can't anymore.

  • Thetis

    Oz, once my scanner is repaired, will gladly post or get someone to do it for me. Found it surprising that 2 articles were written in our normally conservative paper - within a month apart. The second one discussed the fact that far from being the purveyors of unconditional love and acceptance, organised religion often comes with a rather large asterisk. Then goes on to say that even within the broad confines of Christianity, multiple sects and fringes have their own holy cows, so to speak......Mormonism demands that we subscribe - in theory as well as in practice - to the fact that men are superior to women in every way, while virtually every denomination, from the Baptists all the way through to the Jehovah's Witnesses, believe that God takes a very keen, very stern interest in who you love, how you love them and what happens behind your bedroom door at night....this asterisk of God's love and acceptance, as interpreted by a group of elders or religious leaders.....

    LouBelle, I know what you mean, although it's always a work in progress - getting rid of these feelings of guilt. The sad thing is that it's not good guilt - happy that you have embraced your sexuality!

  • Broken Promises
  • MrMonroe

    I can fully understand why JWs are guilt-ridden over sex. The WTS intrudes on every part of the lives of members, telling them how to do everything except how to wipe their butts. Stern directives have been made about what is and is not appropriate in the bedroom between married couples, which can only inhibit young couples in discovering their sexuality and make obedient Witnesses feel guilty about even wanting to do certain things.

    The pressure to inform the elders of any behavioral aberration would also stop many partners from even voicing to their spouse a preference for any particular sexual activity lest their partner decide to "seek assistance," thus guaranteeing half the congo would know inside a week.

    I recall some years ago a prim elder's wife commenting on a TV program she'd been watching which showed some sexual activity .... "The woman was on top, I mean, it was almost pornographic!"

    And it all starts so young, with frequent admonitions in books, magazines and public talks (for God's sake!) about the "problem" of masturbation, telling poor young buggers to confess to the elders and, again, seek their help. The more they focus on it, the guiltier they feel and the more screwed up they get.

  • sizemik

    Thanks for the link BP . . . my own experience confirms these findings

    I found this comment interesting . . .

    'Of course, they have to return to their religion to get forgiveness. It's like the church gives you the disease, then offers you a fake cure.'

    The highlighted words could refer to the concept of sin in general . . . and sum up organised religion IMO . . . it's their lifeblood.

  • Thetis

    Thanks for the link BP. I am a continent away and I see they stole that article. The other article I mentioned was written by a local reporter.

    Mr M, they are extremely intrusive and it's incredible that we have accepted this. A friend who is still a JW was recently telling me about an elder who called on her about 20 years ago to ask whether she was engaging in oral sex as she was married to a "worldly guy" - and let's face it, these worldly men are perverted you know. I asked her whether she thought it strange that he would call on her alone.... said she did find it odd but he is an Elder (All Elders are eunuchs I guess), however she was extremely embarrassed and this was the first time she had mentioned this incident to anyone.

    How many of us have experienced incidences like this and yet we refused to acknowledge that this wasn't normal behaviour.

    I digress but a young girl who left the org. cited this particular elder as the reason she had left. Maintained he had stumbled her because he had made advances towards her. Of course nobody believed her. In hindsight, I wonder.

    On the other side of the coin, can you imagine what the elders must have gone through listening to sisters who ran to them with every trivial detail.

  • EntirelyPossible

    On the other side of the coin, can you imagine what the elders must have gone through listening to sisters who ran to them with every trivial detail.

    That's probably the most action they get all year. They, no pun intended, lap it up.

  • RagingBull

    I'll never forget going before a JC once and they asked for some "WEIRD" details. "Was her breasts exposed?" what kind of question is that?

    Fornication is fornication, adultery is adultery. Does one get less punishment if he sees no nipple? Where is this in the Bible?

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