How To Leave Jehovah's Witnesses Easily and Painlessly

by Daniel Metz 62 Replies latest jw friends

  • Daniel Metz
    Daniel Metz

    I have just thought of a way to leave Jehovah's Witnesses using information from the new Shepherd the Flock of God book. It's quite simply: rebaptism. Here are the steps:

    1) Tell two elders that you want to meet with them.

    2) When you meet them, tell them that your conscience has been bothering you for a long time. The reason is that when you listen to new ones who are preparing for baptism, you realize that you got baptized for the wrong motives (to please your parents, to be part of a group of people who impressed you, because a friend got baptized, etc.) and you have realized for a while that YOU NEVER MADE A PERSONAL DEDICATION TO JEHOVAH, even though you told the elders who did the questions with you that you had, and even though you said "Yes" at the baptism questions at the assembly. Your knew that it was a lie, but you were too embarrassed not to get into the pool and to tell the elders about your lie, so you went through with your baptism anyway. Now though, even though many years have past (and you may even have accepted privileges such as pioneer, ministerial servant or elder), you realize that your baptism was not really valid because it was not a symbol of a personal dedication to Jehovah.

    3) Tell them that conscientiously, you want to step down from the privileges that you agreed to fraudulently, and that you would like someone to study the Bible with you, using either Keep Yourself in God's Love book.

    4) What can the elders say? That you DID make a valid personal dedication in prayer but forgot it? Of course not. Only you know if you made that prayer.

    5) Have your study, but start expressing doubts that Jehovah will ever forgive you for your having lied to him.

    6) Stop service, go less and less to meetings, gradually skip your study, in other words, gradually drift away, WITHOUT having admitted to any other sin than having lied about having made a dedication years earlier, and without having to write a letter of disassociation.

    6) Your Witness relatives and the elders will look on you as just "weak".

    7) If they ask you if you still believe the truth, you can say: "Yes, I do, it's just that I realize that I was dishonest with Jehovah and didn't have the right to get baptized because I deceived the elders and deceived myself for so long that Jehovah would accept me anyway, because I served him so faithfully. But now I realize that my status is like any non-baptized Bible student. I will start my study later, but now I need to do some other things first."

    8) As long as they don't find out about any sin on your part, they can't disfellowship you. If your wife or husband is still a Witness, tell them: "Honey, just give me time and I will start my study again" (Maybe some of you can think of a better story to tell).

    Hope this idea helps those who want to leave painlessly but don't know how.

  • sizemik

    Nothing wrong with the reasoning Daniel . . . I think one or two here may even have done something similar.

    But painless? . . . I doubt it.

    Welcome to JWN

  • slimboyfat

    Yeah this will work... LOL.

  • daringhart13

    What the hell?

    How about walk out the door and never look back??

  • talesin


    What you're saying is logical. Almost Spock-like. ;)

    It seems like what the other posters are saying is logical as well. Just from a different POV.

    Spock, my life-long nickname, b/c of my overly logical, even solemn, POV.

    All through life, I've found my Vulcan heritage to be useful. It helps me maintain a balance, when I realize logic says the 'negative' things others do and say are rarely to be taken personally.

    Helpful too jedi training will be ... mighty the Force is, and humble the Jedi that relies on the Force. Strengthens the Force, humility does. ;)

    There mostly likely will be betrayal, drama, and some heartache to come. But you will weather it, and remember, you are not alone.

    Most importantly,

    freedom you now have!


  • talesin

    oh, and ...

    Welcome to the Forum !

  • cantleave

    As alwasy what may work in one congregational situation, may not work in another. I was the victim of a malicious CoBE who I had exposed as a liar and made an enemy of. He was determined that I was not going to be allowed to leave with dignity. Also as someone who was once an elder it would be very difficult to use the "my baptism wasn't valid" card.

  • steve2

    Daniel, Hi, looks like you've given the matter detailed thought. What gives? Have you gone through these steps to see if they work painlessly? Looks like this is your first post, but have you been here on this forum before? My opinion would be as follows: Any one cool or crafty enough to go through the steps you suggest is probably too capable to have been ensnared in the religion in the first place. On the other hand, if you've gone through those steps and they are as painless as you claim, tell us more....

  • Black Sheep
    Black Sheep

    Step 7 should, in theory, let them off the hook. Nice plan Dan.

    Now, we need someone to try it out.

    It can't be me because they didn't manage to kick my arse into the pond.

    Welcome to the forum.


  • Alfred

    ...or you simply fade

  • luna2

    Having some sort of "crisis" in your life...whether its a real crisis or a manufactured crisis in faith...does give opportunity for you to back out of the JWs. They feel okay about it because you are obviously troubled (and they don't really want to deal with that anyway...or at least most don't) and you get to remove yourself from any responsibilities and gradually stop going. This is what I did...although, I was truly struggling at the time and it wasn't a planned withdrawal, it was natural. I also wasn't married and had no family who were JWs, so it was pretty easy for me to fade out.

    I'm not sure how well a carefully planned campaign would have worked. You'd have to be pretty careful not to say what you really think to anyone and you'd have to play lame duck for a fairly long period of time. You'd probably also have to endure elders wanting to pay you a visit from time to time too. I have one pioneer sister who still, after ten years of no involvement at all, leaves me notes and tracts.

    I will say that leaving the way I did was pretty painless, but it also depends on the congregation too. Some like to purge their rolls of inactive ones every so often and will disfellowship in absentia just based on the fact that they can't contact you and you never go to meetings any more. I'm waiting for that myself. At this point, I don't care. Its not like anybody from the KH tries to talk to me anyway any more, so there's very little pain they can inflict.

  • TotallyADD

    Welcome to the forum Daniel Metz. Sounds good. But I think it will not be painless. To many questions would be asked. You have to make sure you are up on your game when going through it. This is one reason I now know personally this is a cult. The things and ideas people go through and come up with just to leave and live a normal life. I should not be that hard but the WT cult makes it that way. Thanks for the idea. Totally ADD

  • Witness My Fury
    Witness My Fury

    Public declaration and baptism = game over and done deal... sorry. It doesnt matter about specifics, those two things are what matters and they have you on file as a baptized JW.

    The only possible way this would work is if you were baptized very young and then it will depend on the elders looking at it and the CO as it would be escalated to him. So unless you were lets say 14 or under at baptism I cant see this ever working.

    I was baptized at 16 and feel mine was "invalid" because of my age and lack of ability to properly research my religion at the time. However I know I cant use that as a legitimate way out as i know it wont wash with anyone, so i'm mid fade instead.

    Welcome, and a damn good 1st post btw

  • blondie

    THE INVALID DEDICATION PLOY HAS BEEN IDENTIFIED AND DEFUSED BY THE WTS....Look at this article from 1964 (47 years ago). Remember this is the WTS game and it is their rules which can change at any moment and then return to the original.

    *** w64 2/15 pp. 121-127 Did You Make an Acceptable Dedication to God? ***

    EACH year a large number of humble persons throughout the world learn of God’s marvelous purposes and righteous requirements. They see the need to serve this great God, Jehovah, and they then dedicate their lives to him, symbolizing this dedication by being baptized, or immersed, in water. (Matt. 28:19, 20) In this way hundreds of thousands of persons from all walks of life have become dedicated servants of Jehovah God.

    However, at times questions arise in the minds of some of these dedicated servants of God as to the validity of their dedication and baptism. Understanding so much more now about God’s purposes, some wonder whether the dedication they made years ago was a proper one or not. They ask: Did I make an acceptable dedication to God? How can I tell whether it was valid? How much did I need to know at the time? If I do not remember the exact occasion of my going to God in prayer and dedicating myself, should I be rebaptized? What if the questions now asked of baptism candidates were not presented at my baptism years ago? Would that mean I need to be rebaptized?


    Persons who, over the years, have submitted themselves to water baptism by Jehovah’s witnesses have no reason to get to thinking that they did not understand what they were doing at the time of their water baptism, or that they were not informed of what they were about to do before actually being immersed in water.

    It has always been the procedure of the Watch Tower Society at general assemblies and in the local congregations to have a talk on baptism delivered to all interested persons before the water baptism takes place. Every speaker appointed by the Watch Tower Society, or by the local congregations, would, in his sermon, give the explanation of baptism and its significance in harmony with what had been published in the books and magazines of the Watch Tower Society up to that time. Additionally, these interested persons could have read for themselves such articles prior to their baptism.

    Just because an individual does not clearly and distinctly remember his precise thoughts at the time of his water baptism years ago does not mean that he did not know what baptism meant. One’s lapse of memory does not prove anything. It does not mean that he did not know what he was about to undergo in symbolizing his dedication.

    What this water baptism symbolized has always been clearly understood and explained by Jehovah’s witnesses, although there has been a change in terminology. In times past what we now call "dedication" used to be called "consecration." It was called consecration, for instance, in the book by Charles Taze Russell entitled "The New Creation," in which book the meaning of water baptism is explained, particularly with reference to those who make up the symbolic body of Christ, those who have the hope of heavenly life. In due time, however, in TheWatchtower of May 15, 1952, two articles appeared on this subject. The leading article was entitled "Dedication to God and Consecration," and the subsidiary article was entitled "Dedication for Life in the New World." These articles showed that what was once called "consecration" was more properly termed "dedication." Since that time the term "dedication" has been used.

    Understanding of the symbolic meaning of water baptism had been broadened out previously to 1952 to include those of the "other sheep" class, those who have hopes of living forever in a paradise earth, as well as those of the anointed body of Christ. As stated on page 677 of the book entitled "‘Babylon the Great Has Fallen!’ God’s Kingdom Rules!": "However, from 1934 onward the anointed remnant plainly pointed out that these ‘other sheep’ must now make a full dedication of themselves to God and symbolize this dedication by water baptism and then become fellow witnesses of Jehovah with his remnant.—See TheWatchtowerandHeraldofChrist’sPresence, as of August 15, 1934, pages 249, 250, paragraphs 31-34." Thus water baptism was extended to include the "other sheep" class. Its symbolic significance also continued to be correctly understood.

    The Watch Tower Society in all its publications continued taking care not to leave interested persons in ignorance of the fact that water baptism symbolized consecration, or, as now better understood, dedication. In its brief account of the general assembly held at Washington, D.C., May 31 to June 3, 1935, the July 1, 1935, issue of the Watchtower magazine said, on page 194: "About twenty thousand interested ones attended, among whom were a large number of Jonadabs [those with earthly hopes] who symbolized their consecration by water immersion." The following year, or 1936, the book Riches was published, and it stated on page 144 under the subheading "Baptism": "Is it necessary for one who today professes to be a Jonadab or person of good will toward God to be baptized or immersed in water? Such is proper and a necessary act of obedience on the part of one who has consecrated himself . . . It is an outward confession that the one being baptized in water has agreed to do God’s will."

    In the year 1939 the book Salvation was published, and on pages 270, 271 and 273 under the subheading "Baptism" it says: "Baptism or immersion in water is a symbol outwardly testifying that the person thus immersed has surrendered his selfish will to do God’s will. . . . Baptism, therefore, symbolically and outwardly testifies to an agreement to do God’s will. . . . Baptism is required because it is an act of obedience; and all who please God are required to be obedient."

    In the Watchtower account of the assembly of Jehovah’s witnesses held at St. Louis, Missouri, in 1941, page 287 of the September 15, 1941, issue says: "Never since Pentecost of A.D. 33 was there such a great number baptized at one time at one place, in symbol of their consecration to Jehovah through Christ Jesus to do the divine will. It took two hours to perform this act of faith and obedience, so great was the number of those presenting themselves." In the baptismal talk to all these candidates the speaker for the occasion stressed that water baptism symbolized consecration, or, as we know it now to be, dedication. 3,903 were immersed.

    So, then, down through the years there has continued to be a constant reemphasizing of the fact that water baptism symbolized one’s decision to devote himself henceforth and forever to Jehovah God through Jesus Christ. Hence, it can be seen that from a very early time the significance of dedication and water baptism has been clearly understood and presented for all who wanted to serve God properly. The change in terminology from "consecration" to "dedication" has not affected in any way what was meant and understood to be a vow or promise made to God to do his will.


    It may be that on some baptismal occasions in the past years specific questions that could be answered audibly were not asked of the baptismal candidates regarding their faith, obedience and dedication. Yet the failure of the speaker on baptism to pronounce such questions, and hence the failure of the baptismal candidates to answer audibly and affirmatively to such questions, do not undermine the validity of the baptism performed on such occasion. The deciding element in the matter is that the speaker correctly presented the significance of water baptism to the interested persons and they understood the matter, for which reason they went to the place of immersion, changed their clothing and submitted to being dipped beneath the waters.

    There is no reason for persons today to think that because they have difficulty remembering what occurred a few or many years ago they did not know what they were doing on the occasion of their baptism. All their actions argue that they did understand and they did intelligently undergo water baptism in symbol of the dedication that they decisively made to Jehovah God through faith in the Lord Jesus Christ.

    In the October 1, 1942, issue of TheWatchtower, on pages 300 to 302, an article entitled "Baptism" was published and this article concludes with the following statements: "Before proceeding with your baptism it is proper, first, that you answer affirmatively these questions to show you are taking this step with the Scriptural understanding thereof and are fit for baptism as a devoted servant of the Lord, fully responsible to Him: (1) Do you believe in Jehovah God the Father, that ‘salvation belongeth unto Jehovah,’ and that Christ Jesus is his Son in whose blood your sins are washed away and by whom salvation comes to you from God? (2) Have you therefore confessed your sins to God and asked for cleansing by Christ Jesus, and therefore turned away from sin and the world, and consecrated yourself without reservation to God to do his will? Your answer, being Yes, is testimony that you are worthy and in line for water baptism in obedience to God’s will."

    In the next issue of the Watchtower magazine, that of October 15, 1942, in the account of the assembly of Jehovah’s witnesses at Cleveland, Ohio, on September 18-20, 1942, it says on page 319 regarding Sunday morning, September 20: "The day was opened with a discourse on ‘Baptism’ at 8 a.m., and 459 presented themselves for water immersion in symbol of their complete consecration to the Lord; it was a pleasure to behold so many young persons thus ‘remembering their Creator in the days of their youth.’ These, immediately after baptism, joined their other companions in the field activities."

    The questions to be asked of the baptismal candidates before admitting them to water baptism were republished in a revised form in the February 1, 1945, issue of TheWatchtower after the leading article on the subject "Baptism—Why?" namely, on page 44, under the heading "Questions." The questions there printed are substantially the same questions that are asked of baptismal candidates at the present time and to which they are expected to answer affirmatively in an audible manner before being admitted to the immersion.

    Yet, because such questions which were to be audibly answered may have been omitted at a baptism talk in times past, it does not mean that the information presented did not accurately inform the persons interested about what they were doing. The publications of the Watch Tower Society had long made the matter plain and the men representing the Society who would be giving the baptism talks would have thoroughly understood what was involved and would have made it clear to their listeners.


    Some state that they do not remember saying a specific, private prayer at the time of their dedication and wonder if such failure renders their baptism invalid.

    It must be appreciated that not all prayer offered to Jehovah God needs to be offered on bended knee in the privacy of one’s own personal room at home. Prayer can be offered up to Jehovah from the heart silently and unobserved by outsiders even while one is walking along the street or while one is standing in the presence of another person, as in the case of Nehemiah, who was the cupbearer for the king and was standing in his presence at the time he prayed. (Neh. 2:3-5) Consequently, just because one cannot recall a specific moment when he made a decision to be henceforth and forever Jehovah God’s and whether it was made in one specific, private prayer, it does not mean that he did not make a direct dedication of himself to the Most High God before he was immersed in water.

    Certainly before a person would be immersed in water in symbol of dedication he would have to make a decision to undergo such immersion. The very reason for making such a decision would be an understanding of what the water immersion symbolized and the obligations under which he understood himself henceforth to be because of making such a decision to be immersed. No individual walks into a water immersion of Jehovah’s witnesses blindly just because he happens to be found in the crowd of candidates, being swept off his feet along with the crowd into the water and into the hands of the immerser.

    Even while the individual is changing his clothing and is preparing himself to enter into the water to be immersed, he manifests to himself and to all observers that he has made a decision to be forever afterward dedicated to Jehovah God through Jesus Christ. Such a decision is a solemn thing and evidently it is made in a prayerful mood, with one’s thoughts on the God who can read the heart. So whether one made such a decision of dedication long before the actual baptizing in water, or it was made during or after the baptismal talk, the incontrovertible fact remains that the individual made a dedication of himself from the heart in the presence of the Most High God, and that is the thing of primary importance.

    On the day of Pentecost when the apostle Peter told the Jews, who had been cut to the heart by the words that he preached to them, what to do, they followed his advice, repented, and were baptized on that day. (Acts 2:37-41) They had little time in advance of their actual water baptism to make the decision to follow in the footsteps of the Lord Jesus. This decision they did not make on bended knee in prayer in the privacy of their homes, which were located in scattered parts of the Roman Empire and even outside of it. They made their decision just prior to the water baptism that Peter encouraged them to undergo. They evidently made their decision standing up in the presence of the apostles, upon whom the holy spirit had been poured out that day.

    So one’s physical attitude, or one’s location at the time of making the decision of dedication, or whether it was done in one well-remembered specific prayer, does not determine the validity of the dedication vow that is thus made. The essential thing is that the dedication must be understood to be made to the Most High God through his Son, Jesus Christ, our Savior.


    When one dedicates himself to Jehovah God, he solemnly vows, or promises, to do the will of God forever. At baptism, therefore, he symbolizes this vow or promise to continue progressing in the Christian way. The responsibility to continue in that way of life rests upon each one who dedicates his life to God. He must live up to that dedication by doing what God has outlined in his Word. "Offer thanksgiving as your sacrifice to God, and pay to the Most High your vows."—Ps. 50:14.

    However, because a person does not live up to his dedication, it does not mean that his dedication was invalid. What it does mean is that he is simply not living up to that dedication! It represents failure to fulfill his vow, his promise, and not a failure to make a correct dedication and baptism in the first place. How serious this is can be seen from God’s Word: "Whenever you vow a vow to God, do not hesitate to pay it, for there is no delight in the stupid ones. What you vow, pay."—Eccl. 5:4.

    Thus, if one has slipped away from the faith to a degree, or may have even committed a grievous sin after he was baptized, this cannot be taken as an indication that his baptism must have been invalid and hence he must be rebaptized. In all likelihood it was not his dedication and baptism that were at fault. The trouble is his failure to live up to his promise to do God’s will.

    If any today find themselves practicing what is bad, or if they practiced badness some time after their dedication, they should not automatically look to rebaptism to correct the situation. The way to set oneself straight with Jehovah is to confess the wrongdoing to Jehovah in prayer and also to the judicial committee of the congregation, who will prayerfully and Scripturally handle the matter. (1 John 1:9; Jas. 5:16) Whatever correction is administered will work toward the good of the one who has confessed his wrongdoing, as well as toward the good of the entire congregation.

    However, it is a different matter when a person was committing serious wrongdoing at the time of his "dedication" and baptism and even thereafter. If one was habitually sinning, practicing a grievous wrong during this time, even though ceasing from it some time after his baptism and making advancement in the service of Jehovah, he was in an unclean state before God at the time of his baptism. Such a baptism, since it did not follow a true dedication, would be invalid. If such a person has now forsaken that practice of sin, repented and made a sincere dedication of himself to Jehovah God, he should be rebaptized.

    Therefore, if any individual who wants to be a baptized Christian is living a life that, if he were already dedicated, would result in his being cut off or disfellowshiped from the Christian congregation, he is not ready for baptism. First he must clean up his life in harmony with God’s righteous requirements before presenting himself to the Most High for dedication and baptism.—1 Cor. 6:9-11.



    From all the foregoing it can be seen that the New World society of Jehovah’s witnesses has been very careful to have all baptismal candidates understand that they were being immersed in water only because they had previously, whether shortly before or a long time before, decided to belong to Jehovah God and accordingly had deliberately and intelligently dedicated themselves to God through faith in Jesus Christ.

    One therefore should not waver in his mind as to whether he had a correct understanding of the matter when he was immersed. In all probability, if he presented himself for baptism among the candidates he likely had sufficient knowledge to know what he was doing, which would mean that his dedication and baptism were valid.

    With the passing of time Christians are expected to grow in knowledge and understanding of God’s purposes and requirements. It is therefore natural that at the time of water baptism one would not have the knowledge and understanding of matters that he would acquire after years of progressing toward Christian maturity. Even the Lord Jesus, after his baptism in the Jordan River and his receiving the holy spirit from heaven, went into the wilderness of Judea and spent forty days there to enlarge his understanding of what his dedication to God, symbolized by water baptism, really required of him. But the fact that he understood the matter of his dedication better at the close of the forty days does not mean that he did not make a valid dedication of himself to Jehovah God. When Jesus left his carpenter shop in Nazareth and went to John the Baptist at the Jordan River to symbolize his dedication, he knew the reason for this. But he also increased in knowledge and understanding with the passing of time.

    We should be grateful for the increase in growth and understanding that God provides through his spirit, Word and organization. It helps us to carry out our dedication faithfully. But just because we were relatively poor in understanding and appreciating what dedication meant at the time of our baptism, we who are now possessed of a fuller, more accurate understanding of dedication and baptism should not feel it necessary to be rebaptized. We should, with mental equilibrium, remember all the information in printed and spoken form that has for many decades presented the matter clearly and should not let our faulty memories produce in us an unsettled state of mind and heart.

    What we should appreciate more and more with the passing of time is the serious responsibility under which we have come by dedicating our lives to God. We should by all means sincerely and earnestly renew our determination to live up to that dedication to the Most High God Jehovah, and in this way imitate his faithful Son, Jesus Christ.—1 Pet. 2:21.


    When receiving candidates for water immersion, Charles Taze Russell, the first president of the Watch Tower Bible and Tract Society (1884-1916), would put the following questions to such candidates:

    "(1) Have you repented of sin with such restitution as you are able, and are you trusting in the merit of Christ’s sacrifice for the forgiveness of your sins and the basis of your justification?

    "(2) Have you made a full consecration of yourself with all the powers that you possess—talent, money, time influence—all to the Lord, to be used faithfully in His service, even unto death?"

    After the candidates had answered affirmatively, he would say: "On the basis of these confessions, we acknowledge you as a member of the Household of Faith, and give to you as such the right hand of fellowship, not in the name of any sect or party or creed, but in the name of the Redeemer, our glorified Lord, and His faithful followers."—See TheWatchTowerandHeraldofChrist’sPresence as of May 15, 1913, page 159, column 2, under the heading "Broad Unsectarian Questions."

    Other baptismal speakers would follow this pattern with candidates for water immersion.

  • elderelite

    its a good concept, however it will not work in all cases. Along with blondies excellent quotes the KS 10 plainly says that such attempts should be weighed carefully. Along with referancing the articles blondie pulled, it also asks if the person has ever pioneered (reg or aux), served as ms or elder etc etc... by accepting such privledges you "evidently" show a dedication. if its been a short time that you were baptised yes this would work. but most, prob not

  • steve2

    Anyone who is hanging out for a painless departure probably lacks the wherewithal to enact Daniel's 8-step Spock-like plan. All you need are 2 elders who "sweetly" but firmly recite the Watchtower literature (e.g., the article that Blondie attached), and the plan starts to look painful.

    I think Daniel - who seems to have disappeared? or returned to lurking - has come up with an understandable but unrealistic plan. As the rational saying goes, Often in life, no matter what you choose to do (or not do) there will be pain. It's part of being human.

  • rebel8

    Logical, but how is this better than just leaving and cutting yourself off from it all quicker? That is just so drawn out and means you have to lie along the way.

    I don't get why dubs feel a need to make this so complicated!

    I just stopped.

    My way is faster and less painful....and no lying makes me a better person.

  • aristeas

    Dan, welcome.

    Blondie—wow! Thx for the research & sharing!

  • Mad Sweeney
    Mad Sweeney

    I can imagine someone trying this and almost pulling it off.

    About four or five weeks into this guy's new "Bible study" the Branch finally responds to the elders' letter asking what the heck they should be doing (of course they didn't do their own research or they would have discovered what Blondie posted, but do elders really do research when they can just ask the higher-ups?)

    But alas, the Branch tells the elders about this article and they have to cut off the study. The "painless" part is over and the dude is left to fade just like he probably should have done in the first place.

  • EntirelyPossible

    I'm not sure what all of those steps get you. Just fade.

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