The Greatest Straight Faced Remark Of All Time

by metatron 9 Replies latest jw friends

  • metatron

    Many, many years ago in the Brooklyn Bethel factory, workers were setting up huge printing presses to produce magazines. One of them, a young Bethelite, got onto an elevator containing a number of young female Witneses. They asked him where he worked. He replied:

    "On the Erection Crew!" without cracking a smile.

    To this day, I remember him as an outstanding example of self control. A True Miracle.


  • MrFreeze

    Ive said some pretty outrageous things straight faced at work but I dont think I could have held back at least a smile

  • wobble

    My wife often says things in all innocence that have extremely rude double meanings, when I come back with a smart-alec reply that exposes her naivity she now laughs out loud, a few years ago she would have scolded me.

    The best example of self control that I saw was a bro. doing the final prayer at a group study held in a private home, a baby sat on the floor and let out a long, loud fart through her nappy, the whole group was sniggering and splutterring, the bro doing the prayer just paused slightly, I think he foreshortened the prayer a bit though, he still did well.

  • Mad Sweeney
    Mad Sweeney

    You know, wobble, I measure my wife's mental freedom from the cult in a similar way. The more she allows herself to swear and make jokes of a sexual nature the more I know the Borg shackles are off. Her self-esteem grows by the day, though she still has setbacks from time to time.

  • WontLeave

    You can tell how stupid people are by their inability to recognize a double entendre. When you get a visiting speaker with a name like "Hugh Jorgan", "Harry Bush", "Peter Cummings", etc. and only about 5% of the people in the room are stifling a laugh, that means 95% of the people are flaming retards. If you notice, they're looking around in confusion.

  • Broken Promises
    Broken Promises

    I'm embarrassed to think how I naive I used to be.

  • charlie brown jr.
    charlie brown jr.

    Hey I know Peter Cummings....

    Yes he is a Porn Star...

    but I don't get the secret meaning...


  • FatFreek 2005
    FatFreek 2005

    Many years ago one of our Marshalltown (Iowa) elders, when giving a public talk that dealt with human catastrophes, obviously spoke about the Bubonic Plague but used the term "Blue Bonnet Plague". Smirking heads in the audience were busy turning at each other, all attempting to stifle their urge to laugh out loud.

    When he used that term the second and third time, however, it was obvious that he didn't have a clue.

    Whenever I walk by the margarine section in our grocery store I can't help but notice that brand -- and chuckle to myself, reflecting on the now-deceased Melvin Vickers. May he rest in peace.


  • tec
    You can tell how stupid people are by their inability to recognize a double entendre.

    Stupid, no. Naive in sexual matters, sure... or even innocent. But not stupid.

  • truman

    I one got a phone call from an elder (a routine call) in which he opened the conversation by saying "Is this truman's cat house." Now, I am female, and I have long been known as a person who keeps cats, but when I heard that, I just assumed it was a crank phone call and hung up. I guess his wife informed him of the implications of what he had said as he sat wondering why I had hung up on him. He called back and apologized. I wasn't offended once I knew it was him and that he thought he was being funny, and his naivete was really pretty funny.

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