I can relate to you and your mom -- and to tell the truth, it doesn't matter if she is in the truth or not - some mothers cannot relate to being a mother.. I had one like yours and dad would take her side in all things, even to try and make us out as nothing in her eyes. Well that stayed with her til she died, even though my hubby and I did everything we could to help them. Her love was for my brother- the sun shone out of his a....
I seemed to always be on a guilt trip until I woke up .. it freed me emotionally and I got on with living for my family.. when she died, my
relationship with dad got better, so start slow with him, a phone call from time to time, then it will build to taking him to a dr appt or out for groc, etc.. just because he lives with her doesn't mean he agrees with her.....
As a sidenote - my SIL has a mom in the truth and she has done the exact same thing - picked some gals in the cong to be her daughters... even tho her real daughter is good in the truth, does all she can to help, the mom puts her down so much that my SIL doesnt dare to say anything as her mom flies into a fit, her son is out of the truth and she looks at him as an angel... and sees him maybe once in three months whle her daughter lives next door and is always there..
I truly believe jealousy plays a part in their minds and they just want to keep you off balance and confused, as well as angry...don't fret