I'm not frightened anymore

by highdose 5 Replies latest jw friends

  • highdose

    If i were to introduce you to the old JW style Sister Highdose, you would meet someone who was terrified of everything. Meeting new people, public speaking, driving, everything in the world especailly worldly people, swimming, drinking in bars, walking the streets, unauthorised banned books, "dodgy demonic films", music, apostates, getting lost and much else. I lived in fear of the great and terrible unknown that might come and "get" me!

    Three years out and i've realised just this past month i've made a major break through. I'm not afraid anymore. Addmittedly these past three years have been somthing of a rollar coaster. Rather than fading gradually out of the JW's i broke away suddenly, ran away and plunged straight into the deep end of the real world. I've been treading water up till now trying to bluff my way around, but now i'm diving deep under. Theres no dark scary monsters lurking in the depths, i can tell you that.

    In fact in a way its rather disaapointing how unscary things really are when you confront your fear of them. Sort of like going to see a movie that everyones told you is really scary, and then saying " what was that all about? THAT was supposed to scare me?"

    My JW child was one who lay awake at night, terrifiled of demons and persecution. Isolated from reality i had no idea how to behave in a normal non jw manner which created terrible problems for me at school. But if i could manage to get in a time machine and go back to tell her what she would become in the future theres no way she would belive me.

    I kinda feel like those olympic hurdle jumpers. Wether i liked it or not for the past three years instead of shuffling along i've been jumping one hurdle after another, till i've got to the point were i'm just flying...

    I now treat fear in a totaly different way, rather than it crippling me i can understand why bungy jumpers get a thrill. It is thrilling to do somthing scary and then say "yeah! i did it!" which realisiation is always followed by " lets do it again!".

  • jair_irwin

    Sounds like a high dose of life! :)

  • jair_irwin

    Sounds like a high dose of life! :)

  • Broken Promises
    Broken Promises

    It's great to hear of your progress. You're right, there's nothing to be scared of.

  • sizemik

    There is nothing to fear but fear itself . . . a hackneyed phrase I admit . . . but with different levels of acceptance.

    Bungy Jumping . . . skydiving . . . pilot . . . I've done them all . . . and it's still a statistical fact that I'm more likey to kill myself driving to the airport! . . . and that's not very likely.

    Here's another hackneyed phrase "life . . . be in it" . . . for there is nothing to fear.

    Congratulations on shedding the fear. Let the fun begin.

  • Heaven

    Awesome progress, highdose! It is quite liberating to realize that a lot of bull crap has been forced upon us and when you see through it, the fear goes with it.

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