What really happens in a yoga class

by highdose 6 Replies latest jw friends

  • highdose

    Inspiared by a convo with a dub today ...satire darlings ;)

    Truthfully brothers and (lowly) sisters the yoga classes i attend are completly like WTBS describe. We chant to false gods while demons fly around the room. Often spells are incanted and we use every pose to worship false gods. Afterwards we find ourselves lusting after the well honed bodies dressed in skin tight gym gear, unable to resist our fleshly desires we desend in to an orgy of sex! everyone has sex with everyone else and in all the bad postions! While the demons look on wickedly! Often drugs will be used to intoxicate and excite eachother sexualy. This experiance becomes additive and members have found themselves unable to think about anything else. Certainly they are not able to think about matters of god! Afterwards in our own homes we all go on facebook and have further "facebook sex" whilst swapping chants and tips for emptying our minds so that the demons can get in easier. Heavy drinking is encouraged with members being in competion with eachother as to who can drink the most... and then still do a sun salutation...(!)

    ...well she wasn't happy being told we just excerise and have a nice chat afterwards over a fresh fruit juice... may as well tell them want they want to hear!

  • Magwitch

    I love this part of yoga.

  • skeeter1

    Can I join your Yoga class? Mine sounds boring! I just do alot of warrior poses in combination with sun salutations (worship sun & worship warfare, I guess), work on balance, and cool down with stretching.


  • Band on the Run
    Band on the Run

    Nothing goes on in yoga. It is why it is so cool.

  • xchange

    I once fell asleep in corpse pose. Guess the demonz were responsible for that.

    I also like looking at the Lululemon merchandise ;)

    Oh and I drink lots of water too.

  • jamiebowers

    OMG, Magwitch, that pose in your photo was the same one I tried to do years ago when I was young and trim. Well, even at my trimmest, my butt was huge, and I almost suffocated, because I couldn't get back into a prone position before my air was cut off. LOL, I had to rock myself out of that position, and all I could think of while I was doing it was that my landlandy was going to find me dead with my big ass up in the air!

  • skeeter1

    I had a similar experience, but it was doing plow position. My belly slid up around my rib cage, and I thought I was going to suffocate!

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