Do you feel trapped- Born in Lurkers?-

by stuckinamovement 3 Replies latest jw friends

  • stuckinamovement
    stuckinamovement

    If you are "Born in" to the organization you have a lot at stake. All of your friends are Witnesses, most times all of your family are Witnesses. You might work for or with a Witness. You are told that your value as a person is defined as coming from your activities for the organization. This is all you know. If you leave the organization you might lose your family, your friends, your reputation, business relationships, and other things. You will have personal freedom but will lose the things that make life worth living.

    Someone on this board expressed it the best way I had heard in comparing it to being held at gunpoint. The hostage is absolutely free to walk away at anytime but his knowing that he will get shot in the head prevents him from doing so. So it goes with many of us who are trapped in the Organization.

    The end result is there are many of us who are going through the motions, knowing that what we had once believed is false, yet having to pretend that it is true. We are required by the structure of our organization to act in a duplicitous manner. It is like the hostage acting as if he supports the motives and intentions of the man with gun, while at the same time hoping the gunman just pulls the trigger.

    Each time I go into the Kingdom Hall for the meeting I look around at the publishers and wonder how many of them are like me, sitting there with the knowledge that the things we have been taught and continue to teach, are the fabrications of men. How many people are just like me afraid to speak out because of the inevitable consequences?

    I would estimate that there must be at least 25% of the active witnesses that realize that something is wrong with the truth. There are the young ones who are comfortable with the internet and inevitably read something that creates a crack in their belief system. This is shown by the number that leave. There are the old timers who have faithfully served but are now approaching the end of their life in this same old system that was supposed to have been long gone. They must realize that something is wrong.

    The social shift in Egypt and Tunisia shows what can start when one person stands up for what is right. People were looking for leadership and an example of how they can change an oppressive regime. The things that made this recent movement successful were the fact that people massed in numbers using facebook and text messages. They had a noble reason to overthrow the oppressive government. The media became aware of the protests and supported it with news coverage that made it tough for the government to harshly retaliate.

    What will it take for those of us trapped in the organization to do the same thing? I feel that we are approaching a critical mass, with a large number of people who feel trapped, the ability to communicate widely and quickly using social networks, and the recent attention of the media to issues such as shunning, molestation, and blood.

    I am not one of those people who wants to overthrow the organization. I think that they will always be around in some form or another. However I do feel that people should not be forced to pretend to believe a lie, to protect their families, their jobs, or their reputation.

    Sorry for the rambling but just had to get it out.

    SIAM

  • Ding
    Ding

    SIAM,

    Maybe we should use the phrase "behind the Watchtower curtain."

    It's like "behind the Iron Curtain" in that you know a lot of other people want freedom but you have no idea which ones they are or whom you can trust.

    Maybe people who are trapped in should come up with some sort of identifying password -- like "cousin Ray" or something with a countersign about a "midlife crisis" -- but you still couldn't be sure some WT spy hadn't broken the code. Still it might be fun to try.

  • InterestedOne
    InterestedOne

    I wonder the same thing SIAM. My study conductor is a born-in with a wife who is also a born-in. Imagine if he had to go home to his wife & tell her he didn't believe it anymore! It would disrupt his life. When he and I have conversations, I realize how difficult it would be for him to admit anything could be wrong with the ideas he is supposed to proclaim. He would have to evaluate which is more important to him: expressing his true feelings/beliefs or maintaining the lifestyle he is currently embedded in. He may have decided that the latter is more important, and I suspect others have decided that as well. When I attend the meetings, I also look around and wonder how many of the people there have chosen the latter. I don't know how I would identify them though because the very nature of their choice requires hiding their true feelings.

    As Ding mentioned, any secret handshakes/passwords wouldn't work b/c it would be too easy for JW tm 's to learn of it. I wonder if there is a more general way to tell just by talking with them. Like maybe they say all the right things, but there could be some telltale sign, some slip of the tongue or accidental gesture that would give them away to a perceptive person. I'd be curious to hear how those more familiar with this culture spot someone who is trapped.

  • LongHairGal
    LongHairGal

    STUCKINAMOVEMENT:

    I feel very sorry for anybody trapped in the religion for the sake of family. Your analogy of it likened to being held hostage at gunpoint is very accurate. I am a 'fader' who, thankfully, was not raised in the religion. I don't have to worry about family being stuck in there like so many others.

    I also wondered what the real percentage of those sitting there in the halls who hate every minute of it and have to keep their mouths shut for the sake of family and/or business connections. That is another thing you can't forget. Many JWs have business connections that would be ripped right out from under them in a New York minute if they disassociated themselves or got disfellowshipped.

    This cannot be underestimated especially in today's recession/depression that we are in. A person who built up a list of business contacts within the religion over several decades has a lot to lose and it is worse if they have a family to feed. Somebody like this just has to swallow all the B.S. they hear and pretend, pretend. Yuck.

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