Report: Majority Of Money Donated At Church Doesn't Make It To God

by Rabbit 8 Replies latest watchtower bible

  • Rabbit

    Report: Majority Of Money Donated At Church Doesn't Make It To God

    January 10, 2011 | ISSUE 47•02

    WASHINGTON—A shocking report released Monday by the Internal Revenue Service revealed that more than 65 percent of the money donated at churches across the world never reaches God. "Unfortunately, almost half of all collections go toward administrative expenses such as management, utilities, and clerical costs," said Virginia Raeburn, a spokesperson for the Lord Almighty, adding that another 25 percent of heavenly funding is needed just to cover payroll for the angelic hierarchy. "People always assume God is filthy rich, but they'd be surprised to learn His net worth is only around $8 million—and most of that is tied up in real estate." According to Raeburn, God currently has enough money saved to live comfortably throughout all eternity, but He may be forced to shutter a number of† under-performing religions. So where that other 5%...? That's gotta add up to some serious moo-la ?

  • shamus100

    Send me the money and I'll ensure that god gets a full 5% more. :D :D :D

    C/O Shamus Kelvite,

    Box 678

    Winnipeg, MB

    TOL 0C0.

    :D GIVE TO GOD! :D :D :D

  • Rabbit

    Sure...just swear to God (and all the little gods, too) that you'll invest it wisely ?

  • Satanus

    God! I mean, geeze. Uh, dammit, how can we help out the poor guy? How can we cut out all the middlemen, and send money direct?! Last, but not least, that little juw guy, jesus. Seems he's always in there, blocking access.


  • Rabbit

    Awww...Jesus just gets a cut (pun intended) out of the whole thing.

    I don't think it was too much...remember how mad he gets in Revelation, when he has to come back again ?

    Geeze...indeed !

  • FlyingHighNow

    Rabbit. How good to see you here. You must be feeling better.

  • wobble

    I like the Jewish Rabbi who explained :

    "What I do with the donations is throw it all up as high as I can in the air, and what the Lord wants He keeps, what falls to the ground he obviously wants me to keep !"

  • Rabbit

    Flyin' I've got that upper resp. thing. *cough*cough*cough* At least it's normal. Yep...a lil better.

    I need to stimulate my neurons

    Hower u doin?

  • Snoozy

    Same holds true for charities..they get little of the money donated contrary to what they would like us to believe..


    (Don't even get me started on Section 8 housing )

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