Last night, it struck me that Stockholm Syndrome has a lot to do with life in a cult. I have started to research this connection, and found the following article at http://www.m-a-h.net/inkdroppings/sl-captivity.htm concerning child abuse including child sexual abuse. I thought it was very interesting.
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Captivity & The Stockholm Syndrome
by Sara Lambert
A child living with abusive parents is, in effect, their hostage. Her body and mind are ransomed for her life. Although in theory she could physically escape the home, in reality she is bound by psychological chains from which she has no resources to escape. Utterly trapped in this way, the child must do whatever she can to survive. Her existence depends on it. This child is in the same situation as battered wives and hostages of terrorists. As such she, like them, is vulnerable to developing something called "The Stockholm Syndrome," which basically means that she comes to identify with her perpetrator. There are four criteria which lead to the development of Stockholm Syndrome in a long-term captive.
1. Her life is threatened by her captor, and she believes the captor is capable and willing to carry out this threat. One study found that 96.9% of sexual abuse survivors and 100% of ritual abuse survivors were threatened with harm by their abusers, and further that 75% of sexual abuse survivors and 94.1% of ritual abuse survivors were told by their abusers that they would be killed. (Langone) Many of these survivors were provided with deliberate demonstrations of their abusers' ability to do so as a pet was murdered (with the remark, "This is what will happen to you if you don't obey me") or, in the case of ritual abuse survivors, the murder of other children or adults in a ritual context. Another common experience is for a child to be put in a situation where she believes she is going to be killed, such as being half-drowned or hung out of an upper-story window or having an unloaded gun put to her head and the trigger pulled. Therefore we can see that the majority of chronically abused children would meet the first criteria for Stockholm Syndrome.
2. She can not escape, so her only hope is that her captor will not kill her - and furthermore she hopes that her captor will feed and shelter her and provide for other essential needs, because otherwise these needs will not be met. Most abusers of children are their parents or step-parents. Therefore the abused children are utterly dependant on the people who are abusing them. Also, as explained above, children have few material and psychological resources to break free from their parents and become independent, especially if they are pre-school aged. Thus most chronically abused children would meet criteria two for Stockholm Syndrome.
3. She is isolated from outsiders so that the only information and perspective on reality she is getting is from her captor. "Don't tell the secret" is the catch-cry of almost all child abusers. The child who obeys this - because she has been threatened with harm or death if she does not - is automatically and profoundly isolated from other people. In this simple but highly effective way, it is possible for a single abuser to keep a child isolated from otherwise strong sources of help, such as one or both of her parents, her teachers, and the police, and extended family members. Not only can she not go to them for help in stopping the abuse, but she can not ask their opinion on what is happening to her. She can only rely on her abuser's assurances that it is normal and okay. In addition, abusers often warn their victims that their parents don't really love them, their teachers are witches, their friends hate them and are secretly laughing at them. They warn the children that, if they disclose the abuse, they will be locked up in a mental hospital or jail, that their family will fall apart, and everyone will blame them. This systematic destruction of the child's trust in others is designed to isolate them emotionally from others. Of all abusers, those in ritual cults are most effective at keeping their child victims detached from the rest of the world by triggering dissociative states in them, installing programs and cognitive distortions, twisting the language (for example, "good" means "evil" and "yes" means "no") and providing them with such perverted and backwards experiences that they can never quite trust the reality which the rest of the world presents. So once again we can see how most chronically abused children would meet the third criteria for Stockholm Syndrome.
4. The captor seems to show her some kindness occasionally. This is probably one of the most confusing and damaging aspects to living with an abuser that survivors report. What can a child make of a father who cruelly sexually abuses her at night but, the next morning, makes her favorite breakfast? She is left with a mix-up between cruelty and kindness, love and hate, which her undeveloped brain can not unravel, and so which may be with her far into her adult life. A typical response to this situation is that the child splits herself (not her father) into a part which hates the abuse but loves the kindness. Because the abuse is so horrible and frightening, the small acts of kindness take on even greater significance, and become very important to the child. She has to split in order to enjoy them untainted by memories of abuse. Survivors commonly report that criteria four of Stockholm Syndrome was present in their abusive environment.
The Effects Of These Conditions On The Captive When all four criteria are met, the child has no means of escape or external assistance, so must focus all her attentions on her captor in order to survive. She complies with his demands, believing that, if she does not, she will be killed. She abdicates her sense of identity and her perspective on reality to make room for his, not only because the conflict between what she knows is true and what he says is true would drive her insane, but also to get an understanding of how he thinks - which may provide her with the ability to anticipate and even manipulate him, the only scrap of power she has. Unfortunately, over time, she forgets her original position and succumbs almost completely to his world view.
What also happens in the captive situation is a pathological transference, wherein the child develops a profound, albeit false, adoration for her captor. She has recognized his ability and apparent willingness to kill her, but she has also noticed that he seems to have allowed her to live - and, moreover, he is occasionally nice to her. Her gratitude is a type of infantilism (love the hand that feeds you), but it is also a defense mechanism, as it denies the threatening aspect of the captor and thus saves her from a constant terror which could drive her over the edge of sanity. In addition, the child has learnt that, if she does not respond positively and obediently to her captor, she will be hurt. So she adores him so she will not get hurt. She may also develop a sexualized response to him, especially if she has been conditioned to match love with sex, as many abuse survivors have been. One long term consequence of this is that, as adults, survivors may become sexually attracted to people who hurt them, although they do not make a conscious decision to do so, nor understand why it happens. Taking it one step deeper is traumatic bonding. Here, the captive, as a result of her abuse, has low self-esteem, but the only person who has the authority (in her eyes) to tell her she is okay is her abuser. At the same time, the captor is dependant on his captive to give him feelings of power and control.
It is important to emphasis here that nothing about the Stockholm Syndrome suggests the captive does anything wrong or abnormal. The situation is driven entirely by the abusive captor and responsibility for it, and for the captive's responses, lies directly with him. While it is hugely distressing for a survivor to realize that, as a child, she was so trapped, helpless, and manipulated, on the other hand this realization provides her with the freedom to put that past behind her and understand she now has control over herself and her life, and she does not have to remain hostage to her abuser any more.
Copyright © Sara Lambert
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