Well, this is awkward

by AwSnap 6 Replies latest jw friends

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  AwSnap

  I have a "worldly" cousin who came into town yesterday from the midwest. She drove a LONG way to come see our family. My sister is shunning me, and its rediculous. My sister is willing to hang out with the cousin (who is more connected to me 'comfortable-wise'). Cousin is wondering why my sister will not hang out with me, but will hang out with her, when we both do the same things (ie- holidays, birthdays, etc).

  I'm trying not to make sis look bad, but c'mon, its pretty tough not to do. My sis is an amazing, beautiful person. I didnt even say the word CULT until cousin said thats what it sounds like.

  My explanation went like this:

  "Well, Im not saying this so you hate my sister. I'm just telling you how I interpret the situation. My sister believes that she is part of what they refer to as THE TRUTH. To her, its the ONLY TRUTH and everyone who is not part of them is "worldly" and not part of God's organization. They believe they are the only true Christians. I was born and raised in this truth , but then I decided that it wasnt for me. So to my sister, I have LEFT THE TRUTH, which is very Satan-Like. Now YOU, my cousin, You've never KNOWN the TRUTH. That is why she will hang out with you. She is hoping that you will see the example she will set in front of you and hopefully you will be drawn to THE TRUTH. She doesnt even realize how condescending she is being...its how they are trained to think. "

  Our family has always gotten along great. No crazies. No major alcoholics. Just good 'ol Midwest hospitality. Nobody is jw's except my immediate family. Yet they've always accepted us with open arms. I feel awkward and annoyed that now I"M the one who is bringing the awkardness to the situation. Granted, I dont feel like Im creating it. All I want to do is BE NORMAL! ...celebrate Thanksgiving and Xmas and such.

  I just wish this shunning policy would go away. I'm done with the sad phase. Now I'm just annoyed. Thanks for 'listening'.
• 

  leavingwt

  At some point, your cousin may benefit from reading the brief article below. People who have never been JWs are largely ignorant of the more destructive aspects of it.

  What's Wrong with Being a JW?

  http://www.jwfacts.com/watchtower/wrong-with-being-jehovahs-witness.php
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  mamalove

  OMG I can so relate! PMing you!
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  AwSnap

  I actually told her to check out jwfacts.com ...she said she always knew our family was jw's but she never really asked about it (but always wondered). I told her if she were to ask my sister, that she'd be told all the generic/positive stuff...and that jwfacts would have a lot of good info for her. Then I also had to tell her what an "apostate" is so that she doesnt tell my sister that I referred that website.
• 

  DaCheech

  that is why young ones are better off not getting baptized.

  by doing so, they have never known the "dunk" and cannot be shunned!

  stupid cult, you can talk to a infidel/unbeliever, but not someone who has chosen to stop going to meetings
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  AwSnap

  Just an update: My cousin was able to hang out with my sister on a day that I had to work all day. They took lots of pictures, mainly of my sister's child and my cousin's daughter. I was "tagged" on Facebook by my cousin. Its tough for me to see the pictures...I havent seen my niece in 6 months...since she was a small baby. In the pictures, she's hanging from monkey bars with long pigtails & so cute. It saddens me but I can't seem to stop looking at her picture. There's never been any major controversy in my family; I am the controversy and I hate that.

  The trip was a bit stressful because we were trying to coordinate when my sister could hang out with the cousin when I wouldnt be there. A bit degrading for me, but I wanted my cousin to have a full, wonderful trip. And my sister would not return any of my text messages...I didnt dare call because I already knew she wouldnt answer. I figured texting was less personal and I just wanted to get things arranged. But my sister would only go through the cousin.

  Next week, I have a "worldly" aunt and uncle coming from across the country to visit with the family. I already sent them an email, explaining what went on this past week. My aunt would gladly open up a can of whoopA$$ on my younger sister for acting this way, so I made sure not to disclose my feelings 100%. This aunt and uncle are completely responsible for showing me what unconditional love is...they really helped me get out of the jw's mentally. I just told them that I do not have the energy to arrange any contact with my younger sister, no matter how small. I have another sister (jw pioneer) who has seemed excited about this upcoming visit, but then informed me that she only has one day available (out of 8 days) to hang out with them. Field service is much more important.

  I cannot believe I used to act this way as well.
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  palmtree67

  It's alternately sad and frustrating, isn't it?

  My grandmother and I would both love to havve more contact with each other, but can't because of the religion.