NEW LITE! NEW LITE ! NEW LITE!

by belbab 2 Replies latest jw friends

  • belbab
    belbab

    All the sons of God have assembled in the heavenly realms before the Ancient of Days.
    Seated on the OLD ONE’s right is His first born, dressed in white robes. On the left, the Stubborn One, you know, Ole Dirt Mouth , himself.

    Now the OLD ONE has been snoozing for a couple of days and we all know how long that is, don’t we? So when he wakes up, rubbing his eyes a little, he turns to the right and then the left to get his bearings, and then glares out to the vast assembly until total silence prevails. Then he opens his mouth to speak.

    Now when God speaks or does anything it is always in threes, the three times table was always his strong point. He speaks once to get the message across, twice to make sure you really heard it and thrice to hammer it home.

    So he turns to the right and questions, [questions are only required to be asked once] ,

    How my boys doing down in Brooklyn?

    The right answers, We got all the brothers wearing dark suits, ties, and tight jock straps. We got all the sisters to remove their pants and wear their skirts below their knees, and we got all the old ones, bringing in the sheaves in fifteen minute segments , all for the glory of Jah.

    The Old One muses a little and grunts three times and then he turns to the left jerks his head up three times signalling O.K speak up man.

    So the Red One, speaks, We got quite a few of the brudders, fondling genitalia and partaking a little of the sheep. We have the young ones playing touchy-feely and gettin their education out behind the kingdom halls. And best yet, we got GB clandestinely getting laid in the hallways of the library of the Scarlet Coloured Beast. Sorry for that, he says with a wry smile on his face.

    The OLD ONE clears his throat three times and says, I need three messengers to deliver a message to Brooklyn., pointing his finger towards the crowd and saying, You, You, and You.

    The three eagerly jump forward. He whispers into the ear of the first, who nods his head and walks away, a smile on his face. Likewise with the second, also the same with the third.

    Down in Brooklyn, all the brass, and the cymbals and the choirmasters, including the legal eagles and beagles, were in assembly, feasting on roasted apostates, drinking the bubbly and munching the cheese and crackers. Suddenly an eerie hand appears out of nowhere and writes on the wall. ELITE The assembly is startled at first. then burst out clapping. Another hand appears, and a second word appears,
    DISCREET And then the third hand shows up and the word is displayed COMPLETE . Wild cheers, clapping, whistling and back slapping break out.
    The writing department is called in to record the event, and a report is printed up in sixty billion magazines and quickly sent to 643 countries world wide.

    Now the three messenger appear again before the OLD ONE and he listens to their report. Thunder rolls across the heavens, lightening flashes, then in a loud voice is heard,

    YOU BLEW IT! YOU BLEW! YOU BLEW IT!

    THE WHISPERS WERE: delete! delete! delete!

    So the heavens were at loss as to what to do. Until one smart ass spoke up and said, timidly,

    post the information on Jehovah’s Witnesses Discussion Board, and everything will turn out O.K.

    So here it is folks.

  • lauralisa
    lauralisa

    gotta bring this one back up

  • JanH
    JanH

    LOL, belbab. I loved it. Brilliant!

    - Jan
    --
    - "How do you write women so well?" - "I think of a man and I take away reason and accountability." (Jack Nicholson in "As Good as it Gets")

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