This is pretty much my situation, except that I went back after a nine year DFing really believing deeply in the whole thing. Getting family back was less than half of my reason for returning.
I quickly came to realize that people will shake my hand and look me in the eye at the KH, but that's about it for being welcomed back. Actually, the congregation (which included my immediate family but was not the one that Dfed me) was awesome. I really felt wanted and loved.
Anyone who knew me before the exile seemed to have a chip on their shoulder, though. I thought this was weird, as I was a 16 year old who was seduced by a 30 year old married woman. I was not exactly a hardened criminal, just a typical teenage boy who thought with the wrong head...big deal, right? I actually felt pity for those who held on to the past like they did.
I do not hold on to any resentments toward any non-essential JW aquaintances as it would just add negativity to my life. I have fully let go.
However, I do feel a certain "resentment" toward my family. It's not a hateful thing. It's just this roadblockish feeling I get when I think about them that things will never be the same. Instead of my thoughts taking the natural, almost instant path to undying love and loyalty, they just stop soon after I picture their faces, if you know what I mean.
I feel more positivity from thoughts of casual acquaintances than from those of my parents and siblings.
Having realized that this is the case, I sent a watershed email to my father explaining quite a bit of what disfellowshipping did to me and my relations toward family, hoping to get some of this never discussed stuff out in the open and to begin the healing process together. It went unanswered. I do resent this.
However, just like my loving thoughts have a roadblock, the negative ones do also. I can only feel a little resentment before the Great Numb kicks in and softens the edges of terrifying isolation.
So, for me, having tried to walk through the pain and begin a truly honest dialogue with my father and being ignored, the answer lies in building a stone wall between us. It sucks, but I cannot allow myself to indulge in thoughts and feelings that are simply destructive to my mental health.