by confliction 4 Replies latest jw friends

  • confliction

    Hello- I haven't been posting on here lately- I've been a busy JW.

    But to keep those on track with how things are going, for those who don't know me on facebook ( I'm Taylor 'confliction' Garrison), here's how things are looking, and my progress as the ever-so DOOMED apostate I seem destined to be.

    Apart from creating the facebook page, I've created a youtube channel (youtube.com/ShunThisAss) where I plan to occasionaly post JW related material... but probably mostly to goof around with ( I like making/editing videos).

    I've been through the assembly- today was the last day. I have to say, now that I've waken up, I've paid more attention to the nuances of what was spoken. In addition to the obvious points that I got from the assembly, namely the generation BS, here are some things I gleaned by reading in between the lines:

    1. Please make sure to Donate money as much as you can.
    3. Many people are leaving and becoming apostate, so we will show you how to resist their satanic influence, and deal with the depression.
    4. (you guessed it) THE END IS VERY VERY VERY VERY VERY VERY Near. But we don't know when, but it could be far away, but it's very close and you might not die, but then again you might, so be ready for that, you need to stay with Jehovah('s organization).

    Some notes I got from the Bethel recruitment meeting:

    Bethel has been downsizing in the past few years- a LOT. But now we need fresh meat. Brothers need to stop coming in with questionable items- there apparently some coming in with items like R rated movies and the like. They seemed to stress the motto that "It's not what you do, but who you're doing it for." To me, this seems to imply that they need to hire people for more grunt work.

    Besides all of this, I noticed how when they mention doing things for Jehovah, it really meant doing things for the organization. This keeps people thinking they're doing things for Jehovah, when in reality, "Jehovah" is really just a substitue for "Jehovah's Organization". Listen to any talk you want, and about 90% of the time this can be applied without taking the subject out of context. Mentally insert "Jehovah's Organzation" wherever they mention "Jehovah". It's cute.

    So, I have a little bit of footage from the ASSembly, but when I was videotaping the generation talk at the end, the battery died. TYPICAL!
    How should I go about sharing this, if I can? There was a really funny mishap that I'm going to post in one of my next videos, too lol.

    But anyways (after this rant), I have about 5 days to a week until I send my letter of DA and let my folks know what's what. Yesterday I almost slipped up though... I got really sad while walking to the car and told my mom that wanted her to know I loved her and dad no matter what- unconditionally. Of course, it came out wrong, and she got really paranoid and suspicious. Assuming from my depression, she probably was thinking I was either (a) going to leave, or (b) going to commit suicide. Don't worry I'm not suicidal, but she knows I've been seriously depressed lately.

    Anyways, that evening she confronted me about it in tears, demanding to know "what's wrong", and why I said that to her. I knew that if I came out completely honest and told her I was disassociating in a week and that I was hinting to her to not take it too personal when I DA, it would mess up my plan, and I would probably get elders visits and long rants by my father- plus her best (witness) friend is staying with her, so.... yeah- way too much drama.

    Soooo... that's what's going on for now- anyone wanna read my letter? It's probably too long and inaccurate but it gets the job done- I don't even care any more. lol- let me know and I can upload a pdf to zshare or something.

    How are you guys doing?

  • brizzzy

    OK, so I just made the mental connection - you're on my FB friends list, also! *tired*

    Would love to hear your letter and just know you've got people here pulling for you. Also, I saw your piano playing on YouTube and I am amazed that you can just improvise beautiful stuff like that, off the top of your head. I've been trying to teach myself to play my baby grand for years but I'm still very plonky at it :-\

    'Tis so unfair.

  • confliction

    Hey! Yeah, I remember you! Cool :)

    Thanks about the piano- I though some would like it.. I usually do it for people like my dad lol. He'll just sit there listening until he dozes off, haha.

    About the letter, here's a link. I did 4shared but they make you wait 20 seconds to download- it's a pdf. Somebody already told me it's too long, but I don't care lol. I replaced my name with underscores.


  • Out at Last!
    Out at Last!

    I told you it was too long, but whatever floats your boat. You definately have to wait until the time is right, and watch what you say, you don't want mother figuring it out before you spring it on her.

    I have already told you how you will have encouragement and support from many on here. We have all been there, already know what you are going to feel and think. Please listen to the advice that most on here give, and always remember that you are not alone, you are not doomed because you left this cult. You are young, smart, and have a happy life before you.

    Take care, and stay in touch friend.

  • jamiebowers

    Just make sure you have your ducks in a row for college, car etc. before you da. I know they're your parents, but they're also cult members. Any promises made by them before you da probably won't be kept after you da.

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