A (sort of) introduction

MoodyBlue

Wow, I haven't posted on here in a long time... I lurked, back in the winter of '00, and posted in early '01 a few times. Looking back on those posts, and other stuff written, it amazes me how much can change... I thought to integrate myself into this web community I'd tell some of my story...

I was not raised in the truth. I fell in love with a JW boy when I was 20 and married him. I got baptized in Nov of 99, against my better judgement. I was in love and WANTED to believe in his faith, WANTED to believe in the promises of a perfect world, and WANTED to believe I had found the indisputable truths of life. It just didn't happen that way. I couldn't believe the teachings- things just didn't jive. I started doing research secretly on the web, and sure enough, a lot of the people felt the same way as I did. My husband knew I had a lot of doubts, but it was absoulte truth to him, and so I was labelled as falling into "apostate" and "independent" thinking...

I was unhappy as hell; hated life. After a crazy, depressive year, I got some help from doctors and counsellors. I knew that the life I was in wasn't making me happy, and I had to change that. Trying to gain some independence, I started a new job in the fall of 2000 because I was thinking about leaving my husband(and the jw religion behind.)

I feel like I have to justify my actions here, which is probably just insecurity...I guess it suffices to say that I tried EVERYTHING I could think of to save my marriage, and my faith. I was not treated well by my husband, though maybe his intentions were good. The congregation tried to help me, but their attempts were futile.

After a lot of soul searching and sleepless nights, and even sometimes prayers, I left in February of 01. I'm 23. Here it is almost a full year later, and I'm living a completely different life. I'm in a different country, surrounded by different people. It's strange, but also exhilerating. I'm starting to accept, at least for now, that I don't have the answers to all of life's questions. And maybe, that's ok. Life deals some shitty blows sometimes, but we are still all responsible for the choices we make. If we learn from our mistakes, maybe that's what matters. I still beleive in God, but I don't know to what extent. I have no interest in any sort of religion right now. Maybe I will down the road- I'm just not sure.

That's where I'll stop. I look forward to meeting people on this board...

alli

(I also think dubla is really cute btw!! ;)

dubla

who, me?

aa

Xena

Hey Moody,

Welcome Sounds like you had a tough time but are recovering! Thank you for sharing and am looking forward to seeing you around on the board and in chat!

PS I think he is cute too! lots of cute guys on this site!!!!

out4good3

congratulations on getting your life together....

I guess the hardest thing to adjust to is not feeling like you're subject to the strict rules and the nonsense labels the JW organization put on you. Once you get over the fact that you're not an apostate for looking for the real "truth", and that you don't care about whether you're labeled disfellowshipped or disassociated by them, it's much easier to live your life as you choose and not feel that your doomed to death all the time.

There is life after being a JW.

Good Luck

jaysong

Alli,

Thanks for sharing your story, and welcome.

One of the great things about freeing yourself from witness thinking is reflected in your statement about not knowing what all the answers are and that being ok...it's SOOO ok!

When I left, I realized that I truly believed in my heart that the majority of people on this earth are good and decent folks that just make mistakes. They (we) don't need anyone to save us from our horrible state, because we're not horrible to begin with...

The whole premise of Christianity is that we're born bad, and need saving. The JW's pile on that idea with their own assumed superiority--"we're the only true religion" etc etc

It's truly amazing to view one's fellow man as a fellow human, worthy and flawed and wonderful and just like ourselves---not some pitiable person destined for destruction at Armageddon.

Peace in your journey,

Jay

peaceloveharmony

hey moody blue,

wonderful to see you again, i remember reading your posts from way back when. glad to hear you are doing well! :):) hope you post some more.

love
harmony

kenny2

HEY MoodyBlue,

Thanks for sharing a little about yourself. It IS a great burden lifted off of my shoulders to admit that I don't have all the answers to all of life's questions. I am getting the sense that you are relieved as well.

No one here has to justify their actions. You were true to yourself and that is what I think God really wants from all of us anyway. So have fun, stick around and I hope to see you in chat again soon.

Kenny

outnfree

Moody,

Nice to learn some more about you!

(pssstt! Xena! I think dubla and moody are connected somehow! -- but jaysong's cute!)

I, too, am at the "it's okay not to have all the answers and I believe in God but not sure to what extent" point. It's not that bad, is it?

Best regards,

outnfree

It's what you learn after you know it all that counts -- John Wooden

LDH

Ali,

A lot of people were really worried about you when you just took off on us, girl! We're happy you're back.

HEY, that Dubla IS cute. Maybe he's single?

Lisa
Didn't send her Christmas cards this year class

MissSC

Moody,

Thanks for sharing. It is a refreshing breathe of fresh air to be able to be free. Glad you were able to find the truth for yourself.
Best wishes in your journey. Keep posting.

ps - I think jaysong is cute.

Always, MissSC

Nobody can make you feel inferior
without your permission.
-Eleanor Roosevelt-

A (sort of) introduction

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