So here's what's been going on...

by Nosferatu 5 Replies latest jw friends

  • Nosferatu

    Hey all, I haven't posted in quite a while. Life has been quite interesting over the last few months. A couple of you may know that my marriage has gone for shit. When I started to suspect something wasn't right, I looked into it. She had purchased a set of ice skates and had been going to ball hockey with her best friend's husband. Generally, her spending a bit of time didn't bother me, but to have these new-found interests that were contributing to her (already) lack of attention to me and our son? Something was up. I knew it was. I've been through this kind of thing before. Drastic changes in a marriage mate are tell-tale signs that something's going on.

    She gave me one of her passwords once for something, and i figured I'd see if I could find anything in her email. Now, when you go into your wife's private emails, you're supposed to come out feeling guilty for invading her privacy because you didn't find anything. Not the case here. I found emails about her putting her tongue on her friend's husbands... well, I don't need to get into detail. It was digusting. I also found emails of how they were both sneaking around on their respective mates (me and her friend) and how she was planning to start a new life with this guy.

    The good thing is I caught this quite early. As far as I can tell, I found out about all of this about 10 days after it started. But the damage was done. I decided to end it, but knew I had to be cautious. Before I said or did anything, I made contact with a lawyer and got some legal advice. I decided not to confront her about the cheating and instead used that as validation that she wanted out of the marriage, as I did too. Eleven days after I found out (and it was a VERY trying 11 days) I ended it. During those 11 days, I had to take our son to the hospital - the SAME hospital where she was visiting her sick boyfriend. The night I ended the relationship, she had him over while I had my usual Saturday night out. I came home to his laundry in my washing machine and my computer having been tampered with. Enough was enough, and that was the night I ended it.

    She's moved out now and the seperation agreement is signed. We are splitting time with our son down the middle (although my new girlfriend has pointed out it's more like 60/40 in my favor). What a ride. I'm never getting married again.

    As a side note, her boyfriend's ex wife is still friends with me. We have yet to go out for coffee, and I have yet to show her the screenshots of the emails.

  • JeffT

    Sorry to hear about all of that. I think sneaking around behind the back of a long term relationship is wrong no matter what. If you want to end a relationship be up front about it. Take good care of your son.

  • Witness 007
    Witness 007

    VEry sorry to hear that....thats a knife in the back. Just one thing, didn't you think it strange that she went out regularly with another guy to hockey?? And did his partner find this strange?

  • jamiebowers

    I'm sorry to hear about the cheating, and I realize that your emotions are still raw. But the comment that you're never getting married again seems kind of rash. Does your girlfriend know? I'm also curious about what your ex-wife's boyfriend's ex-wife thinks of all that's happened. She's lost her husband and her best friend!

  • darkuncle29

    Sorry Nos, been wondering how you were doing, I think Shamus said something in a werewolf game or something, got me to thinking of you.

    Its good that you were aware enough to catch it early and trusted your instinct. Good luck with the future.

  • Black Sheep
    Black Sheep

    Sorry to hear that Nos. I'd been wondering how you were too. It's been a while.

    How is your son doing?


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