on a lighter note Scientific phraseology for Besty and bohm

by JeffT 4 Replies latest jw friends

  • JeffT

    Our discussion of data sets reminded me of a clipping that was on the wall of my Dad's lab years ago. It was from one of the major journals. I can't remember all of them but it went something like this:

    "It is known that..."

    "I think."

    "It is generally known that..."

    "A couple of other guys think so too."

    "It has long been know that..."

    "I'm too lazy to look up the original reference."

    "A careful analysis of available data..."

    "My notes were obliterated when I knocked over a glass of beer."

    "Typical results are shown."

    "Best results are shown."

    "One test will be examined in detail."

    "The results of the others didn't make any sense."

    "I'd like to think bohm for his technical assistance and Besty for valuable discussions."

    "Bohm did the work and Besty explained it to me."

  • Slidin Fast
    Slidin Fast


  • besty

    "An analysis of search terms including, but not limited to,...."

    "I Googled it...."

  • bohm

    "A detailed calculation can be found in appendix A"
    a notationally challenged jumble of poorly typesetted equations with 4 non-obvious typos is included at the end because hey, i wrote them!

    "And by similar reasoning the p=2 case follow"
    Just kidding, it took us 2 weeks to understand it.

    "A good introduction can be found in ref. 5"
    Ref. 5 is the longest and most complicated article we could find on the subject, which incidently is only pupliced in an obscure german journal that went out of print in the 70s and is no longer found online.

    "Additional information and proof of convergence is found in ref. 4, 10-13 and 19"
    My thesis adviser showed me how to use citesearch!

    "The parameters alpha1, alpha2, D, p and beta1-10 was found by a coarse search in parameter space"
    We spend a month finding parameters that gave any results at all, and we had to change our example underway.

    "Notably, our actual implementation of the main functionality of the program is only about 150 lines of C"
    Most of which are 500 characters long. It took us the better part of 5 months to write it and it still contain bugs.

    "Our results are encouraging..."

    "...and we believe with future developments.."
    a miracle

    ".. the present work can find use in military robotics"
    the military is the only people who are dumb enough to fund us.

  • GLTirebiter

    "...further research is needed in this area"

    Please approve our next grant application.

Share this