I am not quite sure of wedding protocols. I mean since I am from Costa Rica and the weddings and parties are pretty much easy going in our culture I have always thought American wedding protocols were dumb. The whole idea that the bride's family pays for the entire thing is unfair. It matters not to me who pays for the rehearsal dinner or even IF there IS a rehearsal dinner. Who throws the shower and the bachelor party is also not an issue in my mind.
BUT!!! Who is invited seems to be of utter importance. For example: Isn't it rude to invite a married woman and not invite her spouse? I would think that it would be rude in ANY culture to do this. But, especially, in the American wedding culture with all its wedding rules.
My friend at work invited five ladies from the office and only invited US and not our spouses to her son's wedding. My spouse for one has actually hung out with her and her spouse. Granted, I didn't even expect to be invited at ALL. And I was surprized to get an invitation. But when it was addressed only to ME, I was shocked. Especially since I know how this person is and how SHE herself would be offended if the sitch were reversed. I can't help but feel that it was an invite for the gift only. And I know I'm being judgemental here and am probably wrong. But I just don't get it. If it was an issue of money, then why invite us at all? I mean it's not like we really even know her son. We have a relationship with HER, not her 20 year old son! And it's not like she's going to hang out with us at the wedding because she has a HUGE extended family. So I can't understand why she invited us at all????? Just to do it in what I think is a rude way.
Regardless, I don't want to go. But I don't know how to handle it. I don't want to hurt her feelings and I don't want to make an issue out of it. Any suggestions on how I can buck out and save face at the same time? It is a 1.5 hour drive away down the coast so it's not like I can make an appearance for the heck of it. I already sent a gift .... well I sent HALF a gift or, rather half the amount I would have given if she had invited my husband. Now how do I get out of going????