Verbal abuse and the JW's

by Cagefighter 9 Replies latest jw friends

  • Cagefighter

    In a previous post I mentioned how I just recently became aware of "verbal abuse" and how I am guilty of it in my personal life. Some people think of verbal abuse as launching into a profanity laced tirade against someone. That is a shallow definition, what hit home for me was the term "reviling". I realized that when someone close dissappoints me I don't simly become dissappointed and express that rather I have the urge to revile that person. Which boils over and I must let them know what a bad person they are.

    A couple of JW apologist have recently gone after me "reviling" me one in a public post and the other in a PM. I would like to thank them for giving me a dose of my own medicine and showing me how pointless and hurtful this kind of thing is to others. The JW's really do train people to revile anyone that is not "morally pure" like them. It's really sad what the JW's to a person's soul. I noticed this with my Parents on my last visit. I sat quietly at a restaraunt and tried to see if they could go 5 minutes with out criticizing, condeming or ridiculing someone around us.... We made it to 3 and half minutes.

    Let's not even mention what I suffered as a child from my Parents. I really thought that was normal until very recently.

  • palmtree67

    Morning, Cage!

    I worked for 6 months for a JW couple. He was the boss, she ran the office and did all the paperwork. They hired their 18 year old son as a "salesman". Their 16 year old daughter was often around the office, as well.

    It was really stressful to work with them. The way they talked to each other was terrible!! They bickered and argued, the kids were snotty and snide to their parents. I began to realize that this was just how they related to each other. Speaking sarcastically and derisively to each other had gotten to be a habit and they didn't even realize it!! "Worldly" people who worked there also noticed it.

    The problem was, as you pointed out, because they talked to each other that way - that's also how they talked to everyone else. And when people got offended or insulted by what they said, they couldn't understand it.

    BTW, what is the WT definition of "reviling"?

    I noticed alot of what I would call reviling in the Org, too.

  • Cagefighter

    LOL, uhhh Palmtree that is exactly my story... Except now I have understood why others are so hurt. I think the WT uses such harsh language about those that don't follow Jehovah etc..etc.. we get used to it. Then we are trained to look down on others due to their "lifestyle" so when someone hurts or dissappoints a JW they go into reviling mode before they realize it.

    I remeber and argument with my father about JW doctrine. As soon as I made sense he yelled, "THERE IS NOTHING ABOUT YOUR LIFESTYLE THAT WOULD MAKE ME WANT TO BELIEVE ANYTHING YOU SAY".... I was like WTF? Then he added said "When ever you attack my faith I will defend it"... We were honestly having a rational conversation about failed prophecies till then. I never discussed religion again with him and we get along fine now. But I never forgot that reaction. I realized I am dealing with a loving rational man until the JW light turns on. I think it's a form of hypnotism.

  • Finally-Free

    I grew up feeling that being abused in one way or another was normal. I was raised in a family that was verbally abusive, and abusive in other ways too. Then the JWs came into our lives, and with them a more subtle form of abuse but just as damaging. Then I was married to a verbally abusive person for 16 years. Top that off with a few abusive employers over the years.

    For the most part I'm not used to people being "nice". If someone tries to be nice I'm immediately suspicious of their motives. Unfortunately, my suspicions are usually justified.


  • cult classic
    cult classic

    There is so much verbal abuse among the JWs. From the platform to the car group. It's amazing. It's so hard to snap out of that way of living too. You think it's normal for people to always be telling you how sinful you are. That you should be doing MORE. That you should be examining your MOTIVES and HEART CONDITION.

    They are so crazy and mean!

  • Mad Sweeney
    Mad Sweeney

    I think it's a form of hypnotism.

    It is. Or cult mind control. Or whatever else you want to call it. It is a conditioned response. I believe it is even more strongly conditioned in born-ins because we got it during our formative years.

    Have you read "Mistakes Were Made (but not by me)" ?

    It is all about belief and how humans justify and defend beliefs even in the face of overwhelming evidence. It takes information from many studies and stories and puts them in an easy to read, eye opening volume.

  • palmtree67

    I think you're right.

    When you are constantly told that everyone around you is sinful, bad and worthy of destruction......that tends to come out in how you speak to people.

    I remember being embarrassed sometimes at the doors because the person taking the call would talk to the householder so condescendingly, like they were a complete idiot who didn't know anything.

    There some humble people I remember, but the majority of Witnesses really believe they are better than everyone else, and it's reflected in their speech patterns.

  • Cagefighter

    Think about it, the more of jerks they can get JW's to be to worldy people. The more wordly people will avoid them leading them back to being more dependent on the org..... It's a sick sick f-ing game.

  • Broken Promises
    Broken Promises

    Just wanted to thank you for this thread – I’ve observed how condescending my JW sister is towards people, simply because she thinks she is better morally to others, including me, the evil apostate sister.


  • Cagefighter

    Ya it took me a decade to get my sis to stop talking to me like that when I left.

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