Yes, be in doubt no longer! Be a Magic Christian!!!
With the new Abaddo-Inc secret prophecy decoder ring, you can figure out what the hell the Bible means!
Simply dial in the text of the prophecy, write down the translation, and you too will be able to wipe minds, ruin lives and start YOUR OWN CULT!
Never worry about not having sex again! Say goodbye to your financial worries! Set the date for the end of the world as often as you like!
All this and more with the Abaddo-Inc, secret prophecy decoder ring...
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People living in glass paradigms shouldn't throw stones...