Today marks the 14th anniversary of my marriage to my wonderful, loving, handsome husband.
I met him at work. We were in the same department at the time. We were allowed to play a radio and I always had on the rock-n-roll station. He liked jazz. Everytime I went to the bathroom or fax machine, he would change the station. I really did not like him. His name was Keith. It was September 1984.
I went out to a bar with a girlfriend on Dec 31, 1984. It was our last attempt to meet men at bars. I met a nice man. He lived across the street from the bar. He offered to let my friend and I spend the night because the roads had closed due to a snowstorm. I had a 1972 Ford Pinto. We accepted.
Three months later, in March 1985, I was married to the bar man. The day I went to get married, I had to ask my supervisor for the afternoon off. (we got married at the Dupage County courthouse) I explained why. He tried to talk me out of it. I giggled and said I was an adult (23) and knew what I was doing. He gave me a JW'esq speech about love, etc. I reiterated that I knew what I was doing.
Within two months, Richard, my husband told me I should quit my job and stay home to have children. He told me I was stupid, fat and ugly. He told me no one would ever be interested in me and I was lucky to be married to him. At work I was making almost $12.00 an hour. I was a supervisor. I was the only woman on the shop floor. I was the union rep. (The company was Pella Windows and Doors/Chicago Distributor) $12.00 an hour in 1985 was great money!
Richard's family hated me. They remind me of the family on 'Everybody Loves Raymond'. His mother was Doris. A hateful shrew.
At work Keith, my former co-worker, became my supervisor. He was a great team leader. He taught me many things that I never learned in college. During my marriage I would come in to work depressed and unhappy. I never smiled or laughed anymore. Keith would pull me over and ask why. I would spill my guts. He recommened marriage counseling.
By my 9th month of marriage Richard was starting to raise his hand to me. He would grab me by my clothing and throw me against the wall. This was during our numerous arguements about me quitting my job and staying home to have babies. I did not want to. I loved my job. The comradare with my team mates, the responsibility, the benefits. It was a great opportunity. I saw no reason to quit. I was young. I had time. Richard had other ideas.
The day I walked out on my marriage was the day Richard threw me up against the wall and told me he was going to call my boss and tell them I was quitting my job. We had an enormous fight. I packed a bag and walked out.
I found an attorney who agreed to handle my divorce-for $300.00. We had no property to spilt. I took my clothing and left. He got all the furniture and household items we had accumulated over the 9 months.
My divorce was final in February 1986.
The day my divorce was final Keith approached me at work and asked me out for a drink to celebrate. He told me that the day I got married, his friend, my supervisor, tried to talk me out of the marriage because he (Keith) was going to ask me out that day!!
Keith and I dated for almost two years. During that time, within a few months of my divorce, I was promoted to a different position and Keith was no longer my boss.
I moved in with Keith in September of 1988. My lease was up and....anyway, our mothers went ballistic. My JW mother would not visit our apartment because we were fornicating. Keith's mother would not visit because she was just unhappy that there was a woman in his life.
Keith and I decided to get married in January. We made arrangements to go skiing in Colorado in January and take a detour to Las Vegas and get hitched. It would be cheaper and easier than a regular wedding.
Our mothers were still very unhappy with the living arrangements. At Thanksgiving 1987, we decided to get married at home in Chicago and then go on vacation.
We planned our wedding in 7 weeks. We spent about $4000.00. My mother would not come to a church for a ceremony and my soon-to-be-mother-in-law would not go to a JW Kingdom Hall. (not that either would marry us; Catholics cannot be divorced and JW's cannot be fornicating!)
We ended up getting married at a resort, on a Friday night. A justice of the peace came and married us. We had a DJ, open bar, lots of fun and laughs.
My husband is the most wonderful, loving person to enter my life. I learned how to be compassionate, caring, giving, thoughtful, proactive, and many other postive qualities. He taught me that religion did not matter. He could have cared less that I was raised a JW. We are best friends. He is the most honest, trustworthy, loyal, hardworking person I know. He tells me I am beautiful, smart and wonderful. Even with changes!
We never had children. I have a medical condition so perhaps someday we will adopt.
Tonight we are going to a very nice restaurant and having a relaxing dinner. Hopefully we will have 50 years more together!