Truth in advertising: how a JW service presentation should really be done

by JimmyPage 4 Replies latest jw friends

  • JimmyPage

    Hi. My name's Jimmy. How are you today?

    I'm here recruiting new members for the Jehovah's Witness cult. My plan is to entice you with the carrot known as the Paradise earth. My stick is to scare you with the threat of Armageddon.

    I'm going to try to separate you from your family members. Once you become a cult member you will no longer be allowed to celebrate Christmas or your birthday. You won't even be able to express your own opinion on politics. And don't even think of questioning our leaders. They represent God himself.

    Once you join you'll have a lot of instant friends. Just don't step out of line, though, or we'll never talk to you again. That even includes when your life is on the line and you need a blood transfusion.

    Someday I hope you'll be just like me out here knocking on doors and recruiting new members yourself. As you do this you'll be allowed to support yourself with a menial job. Remember, though- higher education is a no-no!

    Got kids? They're going to be thrilled about spending hot summer days sitting through three day conventions in their little suitcoats. They're also going to love being different from everyone else by not saluting the flag or taking part in extracurricular activities like sports.

    Years from now you're going to be disillusioned that the end never came and you spent your entire life in a cult. But that's only if you're ever brave enough to get on those evil apostate websites and figure out what the Watchtower is really all about.

    Well, I hope you like what you're hearing. Let's get started with what I call a "door-step Bible study".

  • sacolton

    Well, I'm sold.

    I hated using my brain anyhow. Where do I sign?

  • nancy drew
    nancy drew

    I really hate that term door step bible study as if somehow your sneaking up on the householder having a bible study with them and they don't even know it

  • Mad Sweeney
    Mad Sweeney

    If the Borg KM told Dubs to say that, they would say exactly that. Sad thing is their success rate (or lack thereof) would probably not change for the worse or for the better; they'd just be getting a different brand of lunatic.

  • leavingwt

    Jimmy -- Well done.

    That is precisely what WT is peddling from door-to-door. It sounds dreadful as we read it here in black and white. Sadly, because of Thought Reform, a majority of active JW's truly believe that they're serving God and that they're also the "happiest people on the planet". This makes it virtually impossible to reach all of our JW friends and family, in an attempt to empower them to think for themselves.

    For those who've never been JWs, and you want to understand WHY anyone would join such a group, please read the following book:

    Combatting Cult Mind Control by Steve Hassan

    This is also an informative article. . .

    Understanding Mind Control Among Jehovah's Witnesses

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