"Don't Touch Him With A Bargepole"

by Englishman 5 Replies latest jw friends

  • Englishman

    There's been lots of talk here lately, about "fading away" from the JW faith so's not to be DF'd and shunned, thereby keeping your family intact.

    Some people have mentioned that it is a good idea to, perhaps, move away from an area so that you can slip out of the JW belief system un-noticed.

    I do recall however, from my days as a "servant", that it was normal practise for a PO from the congregation of the departing one(s) to write a letter of introduction to the PO of the receiving congregation, so that he could also advise the new congregation elders as to his opinion of the spiritual health of the new arrivals.

    As a point of interest, when the brother who had been best man at my first marriage, who was also the Ministry School servant, moved into Southampton, the PO told the new congregation elers not to trust their new arrival, "Don't touch him with a bargepole" went the letter. He, (the MS servant), was a touch miffed at this.

    So, I was wondering, is it still normal for this sort of letter exchange to take place between the 2 congregations involved?

    Also, if that is so, how can it be an easy option to swop congregations in order to fade away?

    Also, could such a letter be construed as slanderous if the new publisher / leaver is maligned in anyway?

    Just curious.


    Bring on the dancing girls!

  • sunscapes

    No, Englishman, there doesn't seem anyway around slanderous letters of introduction no matter what you do (unless you use deceptive means to not leave a forwarding address and change countires altogether) but I'm sure you would assume that most who want a fresh start wouldn't be in a position to use such drastic measures. If you leave in a tiff, chances are you've burnt your bridges.

    Unfortunately, the recommending set of elders can print whatever fancies them in those letters and there ain't a whit a poor soul can do about it in the long run. What's worse, the slander (if it's damning enough) can get put in a dreaded blue envelope and its contents kept indefinitely, if I understand correctly with pedophile cases and the like. And the Society of course keeps extensive databases on everybody and all these details as well.

    And of course we have them using clandestine techniques to trump up false and misleading charges.

    Is there LEGALLY anything we can do about it? I have no idea.

  • zev


    your absolutely correct...
    that is the way it is still done.

    a letter is fowarded to the "new" congregation, and recomendations are made one way or the other, as to your "spiritual" condition.

    i have heard the stories, but never seen them myself, or my own for that matter (never gave a rats #$%^&).

    but i hear they are quite extensive in what they say and if your a p.o. in one congregation, for instance, you may not be in the next based on what the do-gooder dubbies write about you.

    in my case, i left. moved about 30 miles away and am hoping the little trolls dont come looking for me. i have not and will not "join" another dub hall.

    as far as swapping congregations, your dirt goes with you, as it were. its not an option, imho.

    just get the hell out.

    that's the answer

    g'day e-man.

    Learn about the Wtbts and the U.N.
    ** http://www.geocities.com/plowbitch69 **

  • ashitaka

    I've heard of this too. Something similar was insinuated to my father b-4 he changed congregations. You can't get away from people who control you, even if you try. You just have to leave completly.

    Still in practice, aye.


  • Lindy

    Well, if they know what congregation's territory you are escaping to, I mean moving to , they send your records there. That makes it the new congregation's responsibility to take care of you. I moved into a directly neighboring territory. I had a few sisters call form the new congregation, but not one single elder or servant visited me over the years, either forms the new or old congregation. I went to about 3 meetings and two Memorials at the new congregation. I had a couple sisters who where in the old congregation come over right after we moved in, but they just wanted to see the house. After that, they never bothered to come back. Now mind you, I was in that "old" congregation some 38 years. I grew up in it. But I think that they all were just glad to get rid of me. I raised to many questions and I wouldn't fall into place with "counseling" anymore. And evidently the new congregation couldn't care less. Loving huh? Looking for the "lost sheep"? Right!
    I get calls from a sister who renews my subscriptions, and evidently she will be delivering them to me when the "new arrangement" kicks in for the hand delivered magazines, no longer coming in the mail, only going through the individual KH's now. (She stopped by the other day to tell me, but I already had read about it here a couple weeks previously.)
    So other than that, no one cares. How sad. You give your life to them and it counts for nothing at all. Scriptural? Loving? Christ like? NOT! Their deep concern is what led me away even quicker.


  • Jim Dee
    Jim Dee

    Policy is now

    If the Brother is a Servant or Elder then he takes that position with him as of right - ie when he moves to the new cong he is still a MS or Elder.

    If the letter shows reasons not to appoint, then this matter must be discussed FIRST with the Brother - then sent to the cong where there is agreement. If there is no agreement then the CO is involved


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