Ex JW wiki

by mindmelda 2 Replies latest jw friends

  • mindmelda
    mindmelda

    I don't know if there is one, but we need our own version of Wiki...I'll start, and you all can add to it if you want.

    Elder: A guy who has nothing better to do with his life when he's not being a janitor, middle management or a construction worker than pick on you so he can polish the WTS's apple.

    Ministerial servant: Guy who wants to be an elder so he can pick on people, because he's tired of mostly just brown-nosing the elders.

    Pioneer: Person who volunteers most of the time they should be out getting a better paying job harassing people with WTS literature so Jehovah will love them more and so that the rest of the congregation will want to be part of their spiritually elitest clique.

    Temporary Pioneer: Someone who can't quite give enough time to be a pioneer because they have a mortgage, kids and a decent job, so they guilt themselves into playing pioneer once or twice a year so they can get one more step up in the Jehovah's Witnesses caste system.

    Publisher: Low man on the spiritual totem pole who can barely make time to get ten hours a month because he wants to retire someday, but he does it anyway so that the elders won't come by and "encourage" him with a visit that involves making him feel like crap for not being a pioneer.

    Fader: Someone who sneaks away from the WTS while the getting is good but does it in such a way that they may not have to experience shunning.

    Disfellowshipped: Shunning, what the WTS does to people who dare to tell them where to get off or who quit believing or following their insane rules.

    Disassociated: People who don't wait for the WTS to shun them before they tell them where to get off.

    Elderette: Wife of a janitor who thinks she can assume the role of elder when her husband isn't doing what she tells him to do to encourage the flock...See:wifely submission.

    Wifely submission: A myth perpetrated by Jehovah's Witnesses that makes men believe that their wives have to respect them even when they're being stupid or nasty, and largely ignored by many married female Witnesses who know better.

    Three fold cord: Unfortunately not a description of a mildly kinky sexual act, but believing that Jehovah is the third party in your marriage..okay, maybe that IS a little kinky after all.

  • Kum Vulcan
    Kum Vulcan

    Proper Food at the Proper Time: A term coined by the Jehovah's Witnesses to trick their members into believing that they have been spoon-fed some kind of special privileged knowledge, unavailable to the masses. In reality, this is a really high fat and cholesterol laden fast-food spiritual diet designed to kill any psychologically pre-programmed survival mechanism and put the minds of said members into a harsh, chemically-imbalanced bath of cognitive dissonance.

    [Note: edited to add]

    Privileges: Undesireble tasks performed on a voluntary basis. Examples include: carrying microphones up adnd down isles in a three-piece suit, sweeping and vacuuming meeting rooms in tight uncomfortable full evening gown, serving food in blistering heat packed in said three-piece suits, playing parking lot attendant (with a flash light, of course) in a three-piece suit...well you get the idea...

  • mindmelda
    mindmelda

    LOL...good addition.

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