Question about DF'ing

by JerkhovahsWitless 7 Replies latest jw friends

  • JerkhovahsWitless

    I have a relative who was DF'ed in one congregation and later moved to another congregation in another state. The new congregation didn't have the authority to reinstate them. The old congregation, whose elders were friends with my relative's ex-spouse, refused to reinstate my relative for a few years, (the ex-spouse continually had a hand in their decision). Finally, the new congo contacted Bethel and eventually the old congo allowed the reinstatement. Is this the usual case that the old congo is the authority on the reinstatement?

    The reason I ask is that my best friend is going to be DF'ed this month. (If you remember the previous threads of mine, you'll know what the story is about). He wants to be DF'ed and reinstated at his current congregation because these elders tend to reinstate people in a year or less. But, his current congo is the same as his girlfriend's. Since the DF'ing is going to cause them to break up, and he doesn't plan on getting back together because he wants out of the cult, he would like to not go to that congregation anymore since its going to be hard having to see the girl that he is in love with but has to end things with.

    I told him the story of my relative and that I'd try to find out if he got DF'ed at his current congo and then switched to his parent's shortly after, would the old congo be the ones reinstating him or not? (He doesn't want the elders at his parent's congregation to be in charge of reinstating him because the elders there are a group of donkey-holes. I used to go there myself and hated pretty much everyone. People at that congregation have been disfellowshipped for 2 years or longer before getting reinstated)

    Are any elders or once disfellowshipped individuals here knowledgeable of this situation? I'm sure there's details to the process of changing congregations once you're DF'ed that I'm unaware of.

  • sir82
    Is this the usual case that the old congo is the authority on the reinstatement?

    Yes that is how it works. The "official" decision to reinstate always comes from the congregation that did the disfellowshipping.

    Of course, that "official decision" is most of the time based solely on what the congregations where the DF'ed person attends, recommends. The original congregation can't see the DF'ed guys "works befitting repentence" (mainly meeting attendance and WT literature underlined), but the guy's new congregation should be able to see that.

    So the process goes like this for a DF'ed guy who has moved away:

    1) He writes letter to elders in new congregation requesting reinstatement

    2) They read his letter and any info the old congregation has sent, and decide "yes" or "no"

    3) If "yes", they write to the original congregation and say they recommend his reinstatement.

    4) If the original congregation agrees (which happens probably 90% of the time), the original congregation meets with the DF'ed person if he lives nearby to tell him they will reinstate him. If he lives far away, they'll write to the new congregation & ask them to tell him.

    5) The reinstatement is read in both congregations.

  • blondie

    It is WTS policy that the congregation who original df'd the person would have the final decision as to their being reinstated. The concept is that they first congregation is familiar with the original situation and has any written notes on it as well as the elders who were on the JC (occasionally it is so long that none of the original elders regmain but the file is still there). That doesn't mean the the other congregation elders wouldn't have some input into that person's current behaviors and actions. As to the x-spouse influence, that would be there whether the df'd person were in the original congregation or not. As to any "scheme" to change congregations and get reinstated sooner, be assured that elders are aware of these things and may take longer in approving a reinstatement.

  • wobble

    Yup, those Elders are only inhuman.

  • Kum Vulcan
    Kum Vulcan

    So he wants to be reinstated but he wants out of the cult? Why bother reinstating? Family ties, I guess. Also, what a wonderful reason to pull out the girl he loves along with him and show a big fat middle finger to the elders....I know, these happy endings are for the Hallmark movies only.. -KV

  • JerkhovahsWitless

    Thank you for the fast responses.

    Judging from the steps sir82 listed, if he wrote his letter requesting reinstatement to the new hardass elders, they could keep saying no as long as they wanted just because they don't feel he's been shunned long enough. The elders from the old congregation wouldn't even be aware that he's requesting to get reinstated until the new elders say yes and then they ask for the old elder's final input?

    So, I guess if he wants to get reinstated quicker, I'll have to tell him he's better off staying at his current congregation, and suffering with having to see his soon-to-be ex-gf 2 times a week, that he would have married, if he didn't realize he was in a cult. Wow, what a F'ed up way to have to get over breaking up with someone.

  • JerkhovahsWitless

    Kum Vulcan: Yes, he has to get reinstated for family reasons. He lives with parents while he finishes school. If he didn't attempt to get reinstated, he'd get the boot out of his house and probably kiss his parent paid tuition goodbye. Also, when he moves away and attempts to fade, he'd still like to have contact with his parents and sibblings.

  • yknot


    That is how it works if someone has got a grudge to hold .......


    I have also heard of JCs /BOEs so happy to be rid of a person that they could care less and the DFd gets reinstated in 6-9 months by the new JC review panel.

Share this