Star Trek VIII..The Day the Apostates Won
Star Trek VIII
Picard: "Mr. LaForge, have you had any success with your attempts at finding a weakness in the Borg? And Mr. Data, have you been able to access their command pathways?"
Geordi: "Yes, Captain. In fact, we found the answer by searching through our archives on late Twentieth-century computing technology." Geordi presses a key, and a logo appears on the computer screen.
Riker looks puzzled: "What the hell is a 'Watchtower'?"
Data turns to answer: "Allow me to explain. We will send this information, for some reason called 'Watchtower', through the Borg command pathways. Once inside their root command unit, it will begin consuming system resources at an unstoppable rate, because they will be trying to deny this ever existed. This is called using “Old Light” to stop “New Light."
Picard: "But the Borg have the ability to adapt. Won't they alter their processing systems to ignore the old light?"
Data: "Yes, Captain. But when “Watchtower” detects this, it creates a new version of itself known as ‘new light’. The use of resources increases exponentially with each iteration. The Borg will not be able to adapt quickly enough. Eventually all of their processing ability will be taken over and none will be available for their normal operational functions."
Picard: "Excellent work. This is even better than that 'unsolvable God’s sex' idea."
... 15 Minutes Later ...
Data: "Captain, We have successfully installed the 'Watchtower' in the command unit and as expected it immediately consumed 85% of all resources. We however have not received any confirmation of the expected 'new light'."
Geordi: "Our scanners have picked up an increase in Borg storage and CPU capacity to compensate, but we still have no indication of any GD action to compensate for their increase."
Picard: "Data, scan the history banks again and determine if there is something we missed."
Data: "Sir, I believe there is a reason for the failure in the 'new light'. Apparently the Borg have circumvented that part of the plan by not really believing in new light."
Riker: "Captain we have no choice. Requesting permission to begin emergency escape sequence 3F ..."
Geordi, excited: "Wait, Captain I just detected their CPU capacity has suddenly dropped to 0%!"
Picard: "Data, what do your scanners show?"
Data: "Apparently the Borg have found the internal 'Watchtower' module named 'Armageddon' and it has used up all the CPU capacity."
Picard: "Lets wait and see how long this 'Armageddon' can reduce their functionality."
... Two Hours Pass ...
Riker: "Geordi what's the status on the Borg?"
Geordi: "As expected the Borg are attempting to re-engineer to compensate for increased CPU and storage demands, but each time they successfully increase resources I have setup our closest deep space monitor beacon to transmit more 'Watchtower' modules from something called the 'Watchtower CD-ROM'.
Picard: "How much time will that buy us?"
Data: "Current Borg solution rates allow me to predicate an interest time span of 6 more hours."
Geordi: "Captain, another vessel has entered our sector."
Data: "It appears to have markings very similar to the 'JW logo! And it's hailing the Borg ship!"
Picard: "On speakers . . ."
Over the speakers: "THIS IS APOSTATE CENTRAL COMMAND OF THE UNITED FEDERATION OF APOSTATE PLANETS. WE HAVE POSITIVE CONFIRMATION OF UNLAWFUL JW PROPAGANDA IN THIS SECTOR. SURRENDER ALL ASSETS AND WE CAN AVOID ANY TROUBLE. YOU HAVE 10 SECONDS TO COMPLY."
Data: "The alien ship has just opened its forward hatches and released thousands of humanoid shaped objects."
Picard: "Magnify forward viewer on the alien craft!"
Riker: "Good God, captain! Those are humans floating straight toward the Borg ship with no life support suits! How can they survive deep space?!"
Data: "I don't believe that those are humans sir, if you will look closer I believe you will see that they are card carrying apostates that were recognized by twenty-first century man as tough S.O.B.’s who braved hell and high water to expose the Borg!"
Riker and Picard together in amazement: "Super Apostates!!"
Geordi: "It can't be. All the Apostates were rounded up from Simon’s board and sent hurtling into the sun in 2017 during the Great Awakening."
Data: "True, but apparently some must have survived."
Riker: "They have surrounded the Borg ship and are covering it with pieces of paper."
Data: "I believe that is known in ancient terms that these were actual copies of old Watchtower and Awake magazines -- it often proves fatal."
Riker: "They're tearing the Borg to pieces!"
Picard: "Turn off the monitors. I can't stand to watch, not even the Borg deserve that."
Take us out of here Data, I’m going to scream if I see another Watchtower as long as I live.
Commander Skipper wishing you a good day.
You have too much time on your hands.....
ha ha, nice work mindchild.
2017 you say? Oh well, still got a few years left ...
That is great! LOL! (now I know what borg means!
"I used to be Snow White, then I drifted." Mae West
THAT WAS REALLY GOOD AND CHEERED ME UP ,THERE IS FUN AFTER THE WATCHTOWER.
Hey thanks guys for your kind words. And Lolly welcome to the board and I hope you continue to have lots of fun
Made me laugh, dude....gracias.
Great satire, Mindchild! Or would it be parody? Mmmm.
"It's easier to put on slippers than to carpet the world." (from "Stuart Saves His Family")