by Mad Sweeney 5 Replies latest jw friends
It has only been around a year since I started investigating the borg and I wasn't really convinced that I had to get out until just a few months ago but it seems I've already begun calling the Dubs "them/they" rather than "us/we." It wasn't really a conscious decision, either; it kind of just happened shortly after I determined to stop using the term "the truth."
How long did it take for you? Was it conscious or did it just happen?
About the time I turned apostate. Before that time, I was basically inactive. But, once I clicked onto my first apostate site, I realized that it was like the lights came on (so much for their new light). And, it was all about them, as in those witlesses, from that point on.
For me, it happened when I lost that warm, fuzzy pseudo-family feeling. It happened very quickly (in fact in one day). I had been feeling isolated, misunderstood, and alone for a while in my congregation. But there was a straw that broke my sagging back. In that moment, I realized that these people were no brothers of mine, did not care about me, and would stab me in the back (and did) in a heartbeat if they could get anything out of it. I saw that they were consumed by making rules and hypocritically clinging to the letter of the law (which was usually man made) and missed the spirit of mercy, compassion, and love completely. That was when for me I said to myself "they are no brothers of mine". First time I said "they". It was no longer "we", as I no longer identified myself with those people.
It began before we stopped attending actually. We were having some difficulties with the elder body, and my parents, and so it was easier to say it that way. We could feel ourselves seperating in that way. Moreso me, but my husband was right behind me.
Straw that broke the back of the camel is when the COBE denied sitting on 3 committee meetings with us regarding a molester and my children. We couldn't believe it, and knew we'd NEVER go back.
I don't know exactly what day it was when I saw the religion as a "them" instead of a "we" but at some point I started to think this way.
I suppose I really knew it was a "them" when I realized how afraid I was that I would kick one of "them" in their private parts if they had the nerve to try to corner me where I live. I don't consider myself to be a violent person but their audacity and lack of boundaries with women cannot be tolerated and this was one of my biggest issues with the religion.
That's a good question...never really thought about it. Just seems that after awhile of realizing the entire thing was a sham and I wanted no more part of it I no longer considered myself one.
It was a pretty quick transition going from 'us/we' to 'them/they' but much longer dealing with the effects of having been one of 'them' for so long.
