To charm a lady: "You've got a POT BELLY & a GI-NORMOUS NOSE!!

by Open mind 9 Replies latest jw friends

  • Open mind
    Open mind

    So I was passing the time at the K Hall the other day and decided to flip through the Song of Solomon for old time's sake.

    Here's a couple doozies from old King Solomon that should really help the guys score points with the woman of your dreams:

    7:2 "Your navel roll is a round bowl.".....

    7:4 "...Your nose is like the tower of Lebanon, which is looking out toward Damascus."

  • VoidEater
    VoidEater

    Mmm...hotness!

  • dig692
    dig692

    Lol! No wonder most of the sitcoms on tv have a hot wife and a not-so-hot, usually pudgy and bald husband. It all makes sense now!!!

  • Open mind
    Open mind

    For the record, I've always found a woman with a prominent nose attractive. (I've got a big old TV crush on Melina Kanakaredes, from CSI-NY)

    http://images.starpulse.com/Photos/Previews/Melina-Kanakaredes-cn03.jpg

    But would you ever in a million years tell her that her nose reminded you of the Empire State Building?

    C'mon Solomon! What were you smokin'?

    om

  • palmtree67
    palmtree67

    You men should try being a "loveable hind" and a "charming mountain goat".

    Sweet talkers.....

  • Farkel
    Farkel

    Not to mention foreplay Fred Franz style:

    "Hey cow! You in heat yet? Show me them udders!"

    Farkel

  • Open mind
    Open mind

    Palmtree:

    Telling my wife she HAS a loveable hind....

    But, the charming mountain goat, not so much.

    Farkmeister:

    Moooo!

    No wonder us poor JW guys have all the innate sex appeal of Chris Kattan & Will Ferrell.

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/A_Night_at_the_Roxbury

    om

  • Watkins
    Watkins

    That cracked me up - thanks for the laugh, esp. you, Farkel!

    Melina Kanakaredes has the classic Greek nose - all their goddesses had one just like it, lol. Did you know, om, that she was on the soap opera 'The Guiding Light' years ago, before CSI, where she played a Greek heiress who married a town boy. I thought then and still do think she's a true natural beauty.

    In centuries past artists depicted the female form as much rounder and heavier than 'we'(depends who you're talkin' to, I guess) think of as ideal these days. You can't have a voluptuous body without fat, it doesn't work that way naturally. >>> 7:2 "Your navel roll is a round bowl." <<< but that's still funny, and not much of a compliment by today's standards, lol, but it still beats: "Damn, baby - you need lipo!"

  • Humanist
    Humanist

    Wasn't there something about breasts being like a wall or towers in Solomon? It was in that Shulamite Maiden song as well I think. We used to giggle at that as kids.

  • Open mind
    Open mind

    Watkins:

    Thanks for the historical perspective.

    Humanist:

    Yes, Song of Solomon is full of bizarre anatomical metaphors. But the nose being like a "tower" just seemed WAY over the top to me, an aficianado of a strong nose.

    om

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