How To

by leec 3 Replies latest jw friends

  • leec
    leec

    How To

    How to Become a Jehovah's Witness

    Jehovah's Witnesses are a Christian group who adhere to first century Christianity while shunning corruption in the faith over the years. Best known for "The Watchtower" magazine and early morning visits to your front door, Jehovah's Witnesses believe that there's room for just 144,000 souls in heaven. If this interests you, read on to learn how to become a Jehovah's Witness.

    Difficulty: Moderately Challenging Instructions

    1. Step 1

      Open the door when the Jehovah's Witnesses (JW) come to call. Be friendly, interested and enthusiastic. Accept the literature and promise to read it.

    2. Step 2

      Invite the JW in when they return. Make sure that everyone is comfortable. Put on a pot of coffee. Discuss the literature at length and invite the JW for another visit.

    3. Step 3

      Agree to host a Bible study. Study "Watchtower" publications. Devote two to three hours each week studying chapters of Let God Be True. Become known in the organization as a Bible student.

    4. Step 4

      Get invited to the neighborhood book study and introduced to other JW members. Experience a broader group of like-minded individuals. Accept encouragement to study more.

    5. Step 5

      Accept an invitation to visit Kingdom Hall on Sunday. Listen attentively to the lectures. Attend ministry school and service meetings to receive advanced training in the Scriptures.

    6. Step 6

      Train to be a witness for Jehovah and how to answer objections from non-believers. Be baptized as a JW by being immersed in water.

    7. Step 7

      Agree to accept all direction given by the organization. Start knocking on doors and witnessing for Jehovah. Lead others to salvation.

    Tips & Warnings

    • Baptism doesn't guarantee a space among the 144,00 who are going to heaven.
  • leec
    leec

    Okay, it's creepy that there was not one byte of ascii spent in any form of comment on this. I can't imagine what kind of strange inferences were made?!?! I posted it because it struck me as a straight-faced how-to which was accurate, but it all just sounded so preposterous seeing it written out like a set of instructions. It came across not much more appealing than "step 1: dip hand into boiling acid, step 2) walk into a fire..." and so on. Sorry I guess?

  • shamus100
    shamus100

    Oh Leechienut,

    Don't be sorry that your thread sucked. You have a long ways to go before you reach my peak of sucky threads.

    Love,

    Shamwow.

  • leec
    leec

    Haha ... and in another thread I just quietly went back to caling you Shamus. Oops?

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