...For the past month or so, and I've been showing my wife little by little why I am no longer "living" as a witness. So far...she has been very receptive, understanding my points, and hasnt been giving me any trouble. I think she's really getting it, but then today comes...
She says "I see all the flaws of this religion and I respect your feelings, but this is the best way that I want to worship"
Then she went on briefly about this is a better religion than a church so she's gonna stay a witness
Earlier this evening I heard her on the phone talkin about the President of Hati having a Bible Teach book in his hand to another "sister", and how wonderful it was, and that it was great he had "Jehovah's word in his hands" (I'm thinkin how blasphemous, now WT literature is considered God's word???) when she got off the phone I said "You know...just to let you know...that wasnt the president of Hati..." *cuts me off* Wife: "I dont care who it was, it was still a good witness for him to learn about God's kingdom"
I wanted to grab a q-tip cause I couldnt believe my ears, I mean there's still alot we havent covered yet, but it seemed like so far she had understood where I was coming from and it made sense to her....except that she didnt wanna leave the Organization...but NOW it seems as if she believes ALL of the kool-aid...
*sigh*
I dont know, a part of me says I dont care, f*** it, but I guess I'll keep studying with her, so she'll at least know why I feel the way I feel completely, and hopefully she'll stay off my back.......this religion has caused a lot of grief in my family, and I dont know how much more I can take.
Even my father, I spent 3 days at my parents home around new years explaining to them my feelings, and it went great, but now he's having doubts about what we discussed, he said "all your points about blood, 1914/607, the slave, etc. are great points, why dont you write the Society on these issues and I'll talk to the CO one on one, and maybe they will change"
I'm like I dont wanna do that....it just makes me angry that such an Organization can have SO MUCH CONTROL over my life and my family, and I just wanna live a regular life, and these SOB's are making it so hard for me........on top of that, I got ministerial servants leaving me voicemails and texting me things like this "Hi there....uhh...we need your field service time for the month of October, November, December, etc."
"Did I do something to offend you, how come you wont turn your time in, you dont wanna be inactive do you?"
"Are you going to clean the kingdom hall this Saturday at 1pm?"
"Will you be Aaron in the Bible skits we're doing on Sunday over so and so's house?"
Like get da f*** out of here, all of yall just leave me alone, let me be......sometimes I feel I'm a wicked person cause I have nothing positive to say (or think for that matter) about Jehovah's Witnesses or their stupid ass governing body, as you can tell, I'm pissed, and I just needed to let that out, so thank you.