Don't give up

by wheelwithinwheel 8 Replies latest jw friends

  • wheelwithinwheel

    I’m a longtime fader. A fellow I work with is married to a df’d sister who had divorced her JW husband. A couple of weeks ago this work companion came to me visibly quite uncomfortable and said he needed to talk. His wife had gone through a serious operation. He told me he couldn’t believe she didn’t even know how to get in touch with her JW son. Her son had moved away from the area but had left no trail. My work companion told me she just said "they stole my son" when they talked about it. He asked me if I could find the son and talk sense into him. I said that might be complicated because I didn’t want to go through official channels and stir up the silt. Of course this worldly fellow could not understand my problem. But I had known the son since he was 12 years old and decided it was worth a try. I tried to trace him with the internet – no luck. Then I phoned some weaker ones who I knew would not report my call to the S.S. Unfortunately, they had no idea where he had moved but suggested I phone his JW dad. It was not an easy call to make but I managed to get the son’s number. The son was extremely happy to hear from me and told me he was going through a very hard time…he had just learned his JW wife had been cheating on him a long time. Apparently he had recently driven to our town and passed his mom’s place 3 times but hadn’t been able to go to the door. I told him I believed his mom would take him into her arms no questions asked. He said he was so very happy I had phoned and that he would get in touch with his mom. Yesterday I talked to the fellow at work. The son went to their place during Christmas holidays and even stayed overnight. His question to me was how can a son walk away from his mother for 15 years and then just cheerfully turn up as if nothing happened. I suggested not to dwell on that but to work hard to keep the relationship going and make sure the son does not get sucked back into the WT Shop-Vac.

    Needed to share. Never give up hope…..

  • nugget

    It is so hard for people who haven't experienced the influence of the organisation to fully understand the way it works. His mum does know and understands what a big deal this is and the significance of her sons visit. When she said that the organisation stole her son it is so true. He had no control of his life. I know from personal experience you don't hate difellowshiped ones you grieve because you don't have association with them but you are conditioned to view them as people who are not contactable.

    You can never make up the lost years but the power of love between a mother and her son was still there as strong as ever you did a good thing. Well done you.

  • QuestioningEverything

    I am happy to hear that the son went to visit his mom. Hopefully, this is just the beginning of their 'renewed' relationship.

  • Mad Sweeney
    Mad Sweeney

    Good experience; thanks for sharing it. It truly is a bizarre organization. I recently explained to my "worldly" boss why I've been preoccupied and not quite my fun self at work lately (because of the WTS and self-discovery I've been going through, and the planning of the fade). She had a hard time wrapping her mind around the fact that I'd have to give up half my family just to quit a church. My own mind still boggles at the concept. Glad this kid went back to his mom.

  • changeling

    This is wonderful! You handled the entire situation perfectly. From accepting to help, even though it could blow up in your face, to persuing the leads, to the advice you gave the step dad about focusing on the present. Just beautiful! Well done! :)

  • journey-on

    From a broken circle to a mended one. It did my heart good to hear this story, wheelwithinwheel. Thank you for sharing it.

  • VoidEater


  • zoiks

    Thanks for this. A nice uplifting reminder.

  • Open mind
    Open mind

    Priceless. Thanks for sharing.


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