by Elsewhere 9 Replies latest jw friends
DAing simple but brutal.
Many here Faded. How did you accomplish this? If you moved, how did you move without the Elders trying to chase you down and send your information to a new congregation? How did you prevent them from contacting you via your relatives?
I moved away from my cong and just stopped going altogether. I have a brother who is an elder and a substitute CO, so he knows all the elders in the area, and keeps giving them my number. Fortunately, where I am now, the elders only care enough to contact me when the CO is visiting. They leave me alone the other 50 weeks of the year.
I just went from spotty meeting attendance to none. Got one "how you doing" visit from an elder/family friend but that was it. Was a little rough with my still-in parents but things changed and now they turn a blind eye to the fact that I live with my girlfriend. It helps that I was the only one of four kids that got dunked.
I was already irregular and mostly inactive before I consciously decided to leave. I was "spiritually weak" due to various reasons. As the doubts started to surface and I gave concsious thought to "what if.." scenerios, I was torn between believing what I had been taugth all my life to accepting what I was seeing as fact then and there.
I was already not going to the Book Study very often, so that ended right off the bat. I didn't consciously quit field service but since I was already irregular, I just never bothered going out anymore, though I did turn in false reports for a couple of months. I finally got tired of that and just didin't turn em in anymore.
Then I started leaving mid-way thru the School/Service Meeting meeting. Then leaving before the WT study. After only a couple of months, I was down to showing up for the Sunday talk only and even then, I'd easily miss that if I something else planned.
I had no real plan, I was just letting my disinterest take over bit by bit. But a visit by the CO pretty much sealed the deal. He gave a talk on what we should be doing in Jehovah's the organization's work. He said if you're not doing everything possible in furthering Kingdom interests then why bother? And I agreed. Why bother. And I quit. I didn't bother going back much afer that. I think that year I went to one day of an assembly and maybe a hand ful of Sunday talks, and then only when JW family was in town and they wanted to go. In time, as they realized I wasn't going back, they didn't bother asking to go to the hall when visiting or expecting me to go with them to their hall. (showing up with a beard tends to embarrass them).
I did get sheparding calls...three that I remember, one ending badly and me asking the elders to leave. Word leaked out that I pretty much kicked em out, which is pretty accurate. I just told em the conversation was over and it was best they leave. I didn't get any more calls after that.
I have gone to some, well, maybe most, of the Memorials. My family seem to put special effort in making sure I'm invited to that. I figure one meeting a year isn't going to hurt. I'm beyond it enough now that I'm not afraid or anxious about going into a hall. I actually try to make sure that I'm upbeat and happy so they can see that I'm not the miserable rebel their expecting.
Being a fader is not always easy and there are times that I get grief from family. I've learned to kinda just keep my mouth shut. They're not listening, they think they have all the answers and I'm in need of straigtening up. Outside of those isolated instances though, the family relationships are pretty good and we enjoy each other's company and take trips and all that other stuff that goes with being family.
Thanks everyone.... others, please feel free to post your experiences. I'm doing some research on this topic.
I DA'd as well. What can I say? I dislike lose ends. Afterwards we moved to a town about 30 miles away and lived there for about 8 years. We've since moved back. My family never really ceased contact with me. At least not the ones that matter. I have an aunt and uncle that do not talk to me but I don't really care. As my sister (who still claims to be a witness but does not attend the meetings) said the other day, after about a year or so, if not speaking to them has not scared them into returning to the religion, it isn't going to have any impact on them so why bother?
I went full out....and still didn't get disfellowshipped......told them I didn't believe 1914 ,governing body are faithful slave and loads more...hence why I
call myself the "teflon apostate"
Turned in my kh key and left town. Da'd 6 months later.
i emigrated to another continant. Told my privous cong i'd let them know when i'd settled and found a permenat cong....
thus no one here knows i was a JW in my past life, and when the JW's do see me out and about they just assume i'm another worldly ex pat... they have no idea
having said that i'd found in recent months that my freinds in the old cong have stopped keeping in touch with me, whether thats because of " out of sight out of mind" or because no request has been made for my record card i don;t know
I moved to another country' started going to local KH, plp there were so up them selves they didn't notice i just stopped going, and had only been to KH about 7 times in that last year. It was easy, but, now I have my mother back in NZ asking questions about my faith.
