Exit Aid...

by Cthulhu 5 Replies latest jw friends

  • Cthulhu

    Sounds like a constipation medication doesnt it?

    In all seriousness, though...I'm helping a young gal who just told the elders taht she doesn't want to be involved anymore, has lots of doubts, and isn't sure what she believes at all. We've been very close for several years and I have made it clear that she will have my support (and a few others who have left also made this point) and that she will not have to go crawling back jsut because nobody will help her. They arent going to beat her like that, we will be sure of that. But as far as the information, the mental part of it, I'm not sure what's best for her at first. She has a lot of doubts, so I am sure Crisis or Captives would be great for her. On the other hand, I wish I had read Combatting Cult Mind Control sooner as this would have helped me to deal with the things I was feeling as it explained why people feel these thing as well as how to deal with those emotions and reactions. Granted, everyone is different, but I was hoping some of you might share what books were most helpful for you and why.

    And now for the rant!!! This is pissing me off like you wouldn't believe! She didn't say she doesn't believe any of it, or that she wants to be an apostate. She just said she has doubts...many of them at that. I'm as aware as anyone here is that this doesn't matter to them, that it's all just a game of which side of the fence are you on, but it's so ridiculous. They even did a special local needs on apostacy the very day after they talked to her, to "lovingly make the point." Again, none of that surprises me, nor does the fact that they will more than likely disfellowship her, but just think about it: this poor girl is being held to a decision she made at the ripe and wise age of 11 or 12. What a fucking joke. She's not even been disfellowshipped and she's already been kicked out of her house. They all know we still talk, so I'm at the center of blame and it's been said that we are both possessed by the Devil (I was actually kinda proud of that. not just a demon, but the Devil himself) All of my friends and I, upon leaving, felt like killing ourselves, and thought extensively about it for some time. This gal has already tried to within the last year. Don't those shit head cretins know what the hell they are doing to people? Does it make them feel like BIG MEN to pick on a teenage girl? And the only place she has to stay at the moment is AT A WITNESSES HOUSE! That's going to be really helpful. It makes me sick that they do this to people and it makes me particularly ill to think that I supported treating people this way in times past.

    Alright, glad thats out of my system. I could go on, but to what end? Thanks for reading and please, if you've any advice, feel free to share, as it will be appreciated. My thanks in advance.

  • AllTimeJeff

    I can tell you needed to get that out..... Welcome to "How Cults Control 101".

    Be there for her. It's going to be a process without a blueprint. Help her find who she is, affirm her sense of self worth apart from the cult, listen a lot(!), and get her those books. My guess is as a young person, she might benefit from Hassan's book more first. The other books contain doctrines that JW's, while still part of their dogma, are not really promoted as they once were, and I would doubt that GB meetings or why 1919 is a bunch of crap will have the impact of Hassans book.

    Unless she really is up on JW dogma, then I would say it really doesn't matter. She might read CoC at the same time as Hassans book?

  • palmtree67

    She's lucky to have you as a friend. Take care of each other.

  • hubert

    I agree with "All Time..." Get her to read "Crisis of Conscience". She will be free of guilt after that.

    However, I don't know how she would be able to stay in a "Witness House" after reading it. That might be a problem.


  • is there help out there
    is there help out there

    I helped a 28yr old JW get out. I pointed her in the right direction. Today she is well on her way to a happy life. She has made new friend. Went on to get her collage drege.

  • The Oracle
    The Oracle

    I agree with Palmtree67.

    Do what you can to help. Don't let her slip back in. Pull together with the friends you have and draw strength from one another. The cult is bad, but the cult is strong. It takes strength and courage to break free, and often that is not enough...it take the love and support of others too.

    Peace be with you! If there is anything you can think of that any of us posters can do to help please let us know!


    The Oracle

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