I meet with my non-jw aunt today

by doublelife 8 Replies latest jw experiences

  • doublelife

    We meet for lunch and I told her I didn't want to be a jw anymore. She already suspected that this was the reason I wanted to meet with her. She was very supportive and even invited me to Thanksgiving dinner. I told her I would but that is the week me and my husband are moving into a different apartment and I won't be able to. She understood and said that her door is always open. The first thing she asked me was what brought this on. I told her about 607 and about the cross. When I got to the blood issue she told me something that I never knew. When my mom was two, she had several blood transfusions that saved her life. She wouldn't be here without those transfusions and neither would I or my brother. This was really scary for me to think that if my mom's mom was a jw, I would never have existed. And what makes me more upset is that if I was in the same situation my mom was in when I was two, she would've let me die. I don't even know how to deal with that. My aunt suggested I speak with a counselor and said she could help me find one when I'm ready. She didn't pressure me to make any decisions and said she will support whatever I do. One thing she said that I agree with is that my husband needs to be the next one to know. I can't keep claiming to be sick on Saturdays anymore. I need to tell him no matter what the consequences are. I just have to figure out how to do it. It felt so good to tell someone though. When my aunt first walked up to me I was crying and shaking and once we had talked(and I got some food in me) I felt more at peace. I know that there's no going back now. I can't continue to live a double life. She is going to tell my cousin who I found out lives just 10 minutes from me. She thinks her daughter will reach out to me once she knows, I guess we'll see. But she said she won't tell my mom, though if she's starts shunning me, she'll try to talk her out of it. I tried to explain how my mom will view me but I don't think she realizes what she's up against. I think that about sums it up. Next step - my husband.

  • leavingwt

    It's good that you have non-JW family.

  • Black Sheep
    Black Sheep
    Next step - my husband.

    Do you want to take him out with you?

  • lisavegas420

    Sending you much strength.

    Are you prepared for your husbands reaction, whatever it may be? Do you have a place to go if you need to?


  • Jim_TX

    Good Luck with your decisions - and hopefully, your husband will support your decision.

    "Do you want to take him out with you?"

    Why does this sound like a mob hit? (just kidding)


    Jim TX

  • AwSnap

    you have taken a very big step...following what you know is right in your heart . I had a similar experience with an aunt and uncle...they opened their arms and hearts to me 8 years ago and it meant the world to me. You did the right thing (but, of course, you already know that ). You'll be on this journey for the rest of your life...best wishes!

  • AdaMakawee

    As hard as this is, the lesson is, you will learn who your real family is and you will learn who your false family is. Real families stick with you through the tough times and support your decisions even if they don't agree with them. Real family will be there to pick you up when you fall and to listen when you hurt, and share the laughter with you when things are happy and going well. Your aunt is real family.

    I lost my false family many years ago, I mourned them for a long time, but I found new parents, and new brothers and sisters that may not share my dna but share my heart. I know you will do the same.

    Take care through these trying times, and be aware that this too will pass. You are incredibly brave.


  • jamiebowers

    I'm glad you took that step. "Worldly" relatives are usually relieved when a jw leaves the cult. Keep building a support system and you'll be fine.

  • doublelife

    Black Sheep: I would love to take him out with me. I'm just not sure how.

    Lisavegas420: I'm trying to prepare myself but I'm still scared. If he does decide to leave, it seems more reasonable that he would also be the one to physically leave our apartment. Why should I have to find a place to stay? But, I know it doesn't always work out that way so to answer your question, no I don't have anywhere to go.

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