The following has been confirmed by the Witchtower Bubble and Trick Society...
LOS ANGELES, CA, USA The numerous Michael Jackson sightings since his tragic death on June 25th gained credibility today when the Jackson family finally revealed that the reason he has yet to be buried is that his corpse has been missing since three days after his death.
Biblical scholars were astounded to discover that the previously reported "needle marks" on Jackson's corpse were perfectly aligned with the wounds on the corpse of the previous incarnation of the Messiah when the full autopsy report was revealed earlier this week. Even the scarring on Jackson's scalp corresponds with the wounds left by the crown of thorns.
Millions of Jackson fans simultaneously broke into a reenactment of the dance from the Thriller video upon the news that Jackson actually is the savior of all mankind, as they had long purported; the spontaneous celebration shattered the record set in Mexico City on August 29. Representatives of the Guinness Book of World Records are expected to rule whether the new effort should be officially recognized since it was not an organized event.
The Jackson family, who are members in good standing of the Jehovah Witness cult, do not recognize the reincarnation of the Messiah. The "Watchtower" teaches that Jehovah God created "Michael" before the foundation of the world; "Michael" was His only begotten son by virtue of the fact that he was the only creature directly created by Jehovah. It was this created "Michael" who became Jesus.
Jehovah's Witnesses deny the bodily resurrection of Christ through their teaching that the body of Christ was annihilated by God and a new one was created three days after His death.
Representatives of the Jackson family, fearing disfellowshipping, immediately disavowed any knowledge of Michael Jackson and rejected all of the vast wealth amassed since his demise.