What Is Involved In a PROPER Letter for Reinstatement as a JW?

by Spike Tassel 14 Replies latest jw friends

  • Spike Tassel
    Spike Tassel

    and how do you prove it?

  • Goshawk
    Goshawk

    Spike it varies from cong. to cong. and the person will probably be more successful having an elder in the cong he wants to get reinstated outline what he needs to put in the letter.

  • Spike Tassel
    Spike Tassel

    can that outline be written? that's be my stumbling block so far. the elders on my JC have refused to come up with anything in writing, despite promising to do so, and despite me explaining to them last time (8 months ago) that I have Asperger's, which they refuse to discuss, though the Awake! experience on the Asperger's pioneer had just come out in the September 2008 issue.

  • penny2
    penny2

    What a horrible bunch, spike! Why is it important to you, to be reinstated? Do you have family in?

  • JustHuman14
    JustHuman14

    ......................

    ..........................................

    /.....././.

    .........

    I guess thats enlighting !!!

  • AK - Jeff
    AK - Jeff

    Here you go:

    Dear Judicial Committee,

    I really wish to inform you that I have repented. I do not sin any longer with my flesh. I really, really, really want back in the cult.

    I miss my friends. I miss the constant rhetoric about the end coming 'any day now'. I don't want to miss the opportunity to watch most of mankind laying dead as manure upon the ground, whilst the carrion pluck out their eyeballs. That seems like so much fun. I want to be among those that Jehovah does not murder!

    So, I will study, study and study, even though nothing new will ever come along I am aware. I will attend meeting after meeting after meeting, and will happily endure berating by the elders if I miss a few because my grandfather died or my left foot was amputated - for I know that it is good and pleasant to dwell in the midst of brothers. I will sing plagarized kingdom songs will poor rhyme and worse lyrics, for I know that Jehovah loves a 'cheerful noise'. I will pray, pray, pray, even though Jehovah will seem to turn an unhearing ear - I know that he is busy. I will go in service, service, service, though I know that the people are unto us and our efforts to recruit them. I will lie to them and tell them that 'we are not soliciting church membership, we are only encouraging Bible reading and study'. I will report my 'time' to the Governing Body, for I know that Jehovah loves those who 'obey without question'. I will attend only 'Christian gatherings', limited in size of course by guidelines that change from time to time. If I am in doubt about whether the 'sons of Sodom and Gommorrah' will be brought back to life in the new world, I will check the latest version of that.

    If I must - I will happily die rather than accept blood transfusions. For I know that Jehovah is far happier with saving blood for proper use than he is in keeping me alive. If I wish to marry, to drive a car, to watch hummingbirds mate, I will consult the Awake, for it contains valuble lessons in life for those who love Jehovah. I will keep my Kool-Aid Watchtower, as it should be, private. I will only 'place' those magazines with the public that are approved for general distribution. Should any of my dear brothers or sisters ever sin privately and I become aware - I will become a stoolie for Jehovah. I will gladly testify against them in Judicial meetings. I will look at them with disdain forever after for giving into the flesh. I will shun them, and call it love. However, if they are walking in the rain or the snow toward the Kingdom Hall for a meeting, I will stop, consult the latest Watchtower for advice on 'How to Treat Disfellowshipped People Walking in the Snow to the Kingdom Hall'. If it is currently approved by Jehovah, then I shall pick them up, and never speak to them, but get them to Jehovah's Table. Should any of my children, my parents, my uncles or aunts, or cousins, my best friend, or my mate, ever turn on Jehovah, I will shun them until Jehovah changes the rules again.

    If I ever masturbate or think unclean thoughts again, I will immediately seek out the assistance of the elders, particularly the young inexperienced ones with tremendous zeal for God. I know these will properly discipline me. If I ever fornicate, lie, steal, or gaze at the ample breasts of a woman with low cut clothing, I shall immediately report this to the elders. For Jehovah loves for these window washing men to interrogate me in sessions behind closed doors regarding matters of personal privacy. If I was involved in unclean acts, then I shall detail all of them so that the elders can relive the experience, making them capable of rendering fair judgement against me. Even if they druel excessively, I will not omit a single detail. If I have a recorded session of the 'sin' I shall play it for them, and surrender the tape for the file and later review.

    If the Governing Body tells me to run around the Kingdom Hall naked for seven days, blowing a trumpet, and announcing Jehovah's Kingdom, I shall do so without hesitation. For I know that only Jehovah's direction thru the 'faithful slave' will save me.

    Please reinstate me. I repent!

    Spike Tassle

  • AK - Jeff
    AK - Jeff

    Oh, I forgot to say - use all or parts of the above letter. Glad to provide it.

    Jeff

  • AK - Jeff
    AK - Jeff

    Well, nath, what is stopping you? Go ahead. Find a sin that you like, confess it, and they will kick your ass right to the curb. Jehovah disciplines those he loves you know?

    Then you can send the letter and try and get back. It's a win/win situation. You get to sin. You get to piss on the elders later. And if they reinstate you, you can do it all again later!

    Jeff

  • oompa
    oompa

    nice one jeff.........but no matter what you or anyone else sends spike, make sure it is very neat........then wipe your ass with it and send it in bubble wrap............oompa

  • Mary
    Mary

    Excellent summary of the entire situation Jeff. How anyone could go back to that stinking rotten cult knowing what's involved, is beyond me.

Share this

Google+
Pinterest
Reddit