Confession, thank you so much for posting this: http://www.jehovahs-witness.net/jw/experiences/180076/1/My-JW-parents-met-my-wife-but-would-not-see-me. You and your wife have certainly taken the high road in this situation, and you've inspired me to do the same.
I'm a born-in who's been out for about 7 years; consequently, my mom and sister shun me. They both live in the same town, about 800 miles from where I had been living. Last April, while I was preparing to move out of the country, I wanted to use the opportunity to visit my family, or at least, my mom. My 72-year-old mother has many medical problems (emphysema, congestive heart failure, etc.) and, since I didn't know when I would be returning to the US, I felt this could be the last time I might see my mom alive.
When I phoned her, she had that cold, businesslike voice that JWs tend to use with former members. When I told her that I was leaving the country, she softened her tone, but would not allow me to come visit her. We did manage to talk for about 20 minutes, though, which is the longest conversation we've had since I've been out. It ended with her crying and assuring me of her love (likewise on my side) but, of course, she had to add her hope about me "coming back to Jehovah." She would not, however, allow me to come visit her before I left.
The conversation with my sister was even shorter and colder. She basically wanted my new contact information. I knew she wouldn't be contacting me, except for the JW-sanctioned "necessary family business" which I'm sure translates as her telling me when mom dies. My sister didn't even want to know why I was moving, etc. Anyway...
After I moved, I sent a couple of emails, but these were never responded to. Since that time, I have not tried to communicate with them, even though I would love to share my experiences here in my new country, and--even more importantly--find out about my mom's health situation. I didn't continue the emails because I felt that if I did send regular updates on my life, they would be enjoying my communication with them, but I would get nothing. They could continue to feel good, following their shunning rules, but would not feel any negative consequences from it. I guess I felt that, by my communicating with them, they would be "getting their cake and eating it too."
After reading Confession's experience, however, I realize that I've been guilty of my own form of shunning. So, I'm going to start sending emails again, and I'll just have to get over the fact that they won't respond.
Confession and his wife seem like amazing people; again, thank you for sharing your inspirational experience.