HomeTown Congregation

by AK - Jeff 8 Replies latest jw experiences

  • AK - Jeff
    AK - Jeff

    What a beautiful place it was. A real 'crag' of strength amidst an evil world indeed.

    Mine had the 'Trinity James' in charge. You know, the 'Service Committee', best recognized by the pious look of pain on their faces, the brown smudge of shit on their lips right after the Circus Overseer arrived.

    There was gossipping Garbo and the Merry Pioneer Fornicators, Joy and MarySue the racial bigots, And Brice the janitor, expert in hiding his child-labor business from uncle Sam.

    Elder Bob, a happy pensioner, who designed weapon systems until he retired, but insisted it was 'not his department'. Used car salesman Bart, who had swindled the best in town, was always quick to counsel those who should get 'closer to Jehovah'. Elder Melvin had two daughters whom he insisted would be cast upon their asses should they ever 'mess up'. And Elder Jon who covered up his childs constant fornication to save his position.

    Then there was Sister Blonde who married three times before 21, finally settling on a killer business man who thrived on selling worthless mortgages to Haitians and drove a Beemer to show his success. Her sisters were also multiple marriers - most for money, but sometimes just for good sex it seems.

    There was Mary, a woman who regretted her entire life, but rejoiced when it would be better than fine in the 'new system' she was planning for herself. Elder Martin had to move out of town since he could not get along with Elder John, his father in law, a former 'Bethel Man and Circus Overseer' sent out by the Judge himself.

    Well, that is just the 'cream of the crop'. Time would fail to mention all the rest of the gang.

    Jeff

    By way of disclaimer: All persons mentioned above are fictitious. Any resemblance to persons living or dead is purely coincidental.

  • IronHill
    IronHill

    LOL...very close to alot of people I've seen or known

  • wobble
    wobble

    AK-Jeff,

    I think your "disclaimer" at the end should have read,

    "any resemblance to persons living or dead ............ just shows you were a member of a typical Congo of Witnesses !"

    Love Wobble

    ps you forgot Sister Healthfreak and Sister I'mincontrol (even though my husband is the Elder)

  • cawshun
    cawshun

    Sounds like Harper Valley PTA. lol

  • straightshooter
    straightshooter

    Wow, I thought I was once in a bad congregation.

    But the congregation you described was pure hell.

  • WuzLovesDubs
    WuzLovesDubs

    Holy COW that sounds like MINE!! Seriously dude...

    Brother PO Drunkman who had to be propped against the wall in the back of the hall every Sunday morning after binging on Sat nights. ("He has a back problem so its best if he stands")

    Sister Gossipmonger who spent most of her meeting time in the womens john ripping apart everybody else out there while I sat in the nursing mothers section of the area trying to hear the meeting on the speakers.

    Brother Bornindatroof who parked his red sports car in the handicapped spot, and took teenaged JW boys to strip bars on weekends and ran a S&M JW club online...and gave talks once a month about Jehoover.

    Sister PioWhore - who was pioneering and married but was screwing the married elder who was giving her "marital advice" ...alone at her house.

    Brother Daughtersknockedup - whose kid at 16 was sleeping around and got pregnant but got only a slap on the wrist for it.

    Sister HubbyDub who was 38, married, and did all the "family parts" with her elder husband and baptized-at-nine kid, and aux pioneering all summer long with an 18 year old "visiting" brother with whom she was sleeping and attended pioneer school..who was DFd for adultery and married this KID...deserting her whole family. Shes reinstated btw.

    yep.....and on and on and on.......

  • AK - Jeff
    AK - Jeff

    Actually sounds just like all the churches we used to condemn doesn't it?

    One's vision is quite blinded while under the influence of... well whatever we were under the influence of back then...

    Jeff

  • darkl1ght3r
    darkl1ght3r

    Wobble - "ps you forgot Sister Healthfreak and Sister I'mincontrol (even though my husband is the Elder)"

    OMG... So true... SO TRUE!

    Reading Jeffs post was mind-blowing. I could think of a person in my own JW experience to fit every type that was described there. What a surreal world they live in.

    Bravo Jeff... bravo.

  • Hope4Others
    Hope4Others

    You sum that up just beautifully Jeff...

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