Growing up with Religious Hypocrisy

by Hope4Others 6 Replies latest jw friends

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  Hope4Others

  I guess I was lucky in away that my father was never a jw when I grew up, my mother a jw she tried her best although she tried mostly to force us to go to meetings and get us involved when my dad was not around.

  the thing I recall the most with my mom was how she was easily influenced by other witnesses. She would do things out of character sometimes things that were just not her. Normally she was calm and easy going. But I do recall one year we went out to visit her sister who were strict jw's and pioneers. I'm not sure what I had done I was 12 but I know I hated the control they had with there daughter, I had voiced my opinion to my mom and she slapped me across the face, I was devastated. I looked at her and said if you were at home you never would have done that. You let them (family) jw's tell you what to do. Your not like this and it sure gave her lots to think about because after the 2 weeks when we got home she apoligized....she was trying to be someone she was not.

  Sometimes other people have away of convincing you that you should do things differently.....I can think of lots of instances but this one was a lot for a 12 year old.

  What outstanding experience do you recall tha really hit you hard growing up....

  h4o
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  jamiebowers

  Before my mom became a jw she was a free spirit and vey liberal. I was 12 when she started studying, and a year later she told me that the only reason the devil was in her house was because I was there. At the time I was an honor student, on student council and was a class officer...yep, I was hell on wheels. I left home a few weeks later and stayed gone for 3 years.
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  ziddina

  Ooooh yeah, hypocrisy abounds in the JW religion - as it does in all cults [and, I suspect, a bit in mainstream churches, too]...

  My parents used to plop we children [brother and I] in the car and drive around looking at all the Christmas lights - fun for a year or two, but after a while the discrepancy between that behavior and the fact that we DIDN'T celebrate Christmas began to bother me. Then there were the obligatory "non"-Christmas presents - I can remember telling them [when I was 9-10 years old] to wait until AFTER Christmas before they bought the "non"-Christmas presents for us - as a Jehovah's Witness family, we were always POOR - and money was TIGHT - then the idiots would go out and pay the highest prices as a 'sot' for their own nostalgia, instead of spending their money wisely. Seems being a 'victim' was so deeply ingrained in their belief system...

  THEN there were the Playboy magazines that I found in my dad's trunk. I think this was around the time he was trying to become a MS - set my teeth on edge, especially after all the beatings and kickings I received in the family 'bible study' because I wasn't sitting up straight, answering fast enough, mumbled when I answered, and so on. They'd beat me for minor infractions, then diddly-piddle off and do whatever they wanted to do, often using we children as an excuse for their actions.

  I was SO glad to get away from those poisonous people; I am actually HAPPY about the WTBTS' edict stating that JW members are NOT supposed to talk to 'apostates' - on pain of disfellowshipping. I didn't hesitate for a moment regarding the loss of the association of my 'loving' parents [that statement is ashes and quinine in my mouth every time I think about it...], but wrote my letter of disassociation and left without ever looking back.

  The supremely ironic thing - and this again shows my parents' hypocrisy - they STILL try to communicate with me! I'd turn them in to the elders of their congregation in a heartbeat, if I wasn't concerned that then THEY'D be disfellowshipped, and then would feel they were 'free' to get back in touch with me...

  Yuk. Just thinking about them makes me grumpy and disgusted with the human race... Zid
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  White Dove

  Ziddina,

  I've got a mother like that who loved to beat us for the most trivial things and not let us get away with making mistakes. She would interpret our childlike mistakes as rebelion and pull out the belt and set our bare legs on fire with it. She justified it from the Bible and said that she wouldn't do it if she didn't love me.

  I didn't want to spank my kids at all the whole time they were growing up, but my mom said what brats I'd end up with if I didn't, just like she would have had if she didn't beat us. It was that influence that worked against my character. After leaving the JWs and family, I stopped that behavior that wasn't natural for me and was not agreeable with me. Mom was a Nazi and I wanted to be polar opposite with my kids.
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  FlyingHighNow

  she was trying to be someone she was not.

  Andy feels this is the biggest reason for depression in JW's.: forcing themselves to be something they are not. I know in my case, he is right.
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  Gordy

  As a visiting speaker to our church last Sunday said,

  "If you want to find a hypocrite, go to a church, they're full of them."
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  Hope4Others

  Jamie..... that was very young to leave home, I can't imagine ever telling my daughter such a thing. You really have your head on

  straight though living through being told such a thing.

  zaddina.....my god that is truly terrible. You know what hit me really hard about this religion when I came to this board was experiences as this.

  I remember just crying I could not believe parents jw's could be this way. It really finished me with religion.

  white Dove....I feel the same my husband and I wanted also to be a different then our parents. We still made mistakes but felt it was so

  important to leave the door open. That they could tell us anything and we would work things out.

  fhn....Andy has been through so much, it is truly sad to see anyone suffer depression from what this religion has done.

  Gordy....so true, I thought so many jw families had such a great life....only to be disappointed....