GUILT

Gram

This is such a heavy topic, very encompassing with many of us...I know that I still and perhaps always will, suffer from guilt -- on so many levels.

I just read this quote "Guilt has been used as a tool of social control" -- I have also heard that guilt is 'anger with one's self" -- I would love to hear your expressions/etc. about this subject. Can we ever rid ourselves of guilt? And what do we have to be guilty of? The "society" (Borg) really loads guilt on everyone (mind control?). Why do I do so many things out of guilt? I hate when I do that, but nevertheless, I continue to do it.

Hope4Others

Guilt is something we carry for a long time. But the longer you are out you find yourself resorting to things unknowing less. I have caught myself many times and others have pointed it out. After I read Steve Hassans "Combatting Cult Mind Control" it was a light bulb going off. I no longer feel the fear or guilt, I only feel total freedom now. H4o

cognizant dissident

I read this definition of guilt once that I really liked:

"Guilt is the emotion that lets us feel like good people for feeling bad about doing what we wanted to do in the first place!"

Isn't that a great definition!

compound complex

Greetings Gram:

What has helped me most of all, in a purely practical sense, is to cease going to the KH. Continual bombardment of negative thinking, disguised as "refreshing waters of truth," created in me a walking time bomb of conflicting, destructive emotions.

So much more to say ... can I return later with more?

CoCo Guiltfree [almost]

imconfused

Hi Gram,

I still have guilt at times. Me & hubby stopped going a awhile back, just sort of fell away due to work etc, then about 3 years ago I remebered somethings that had happended to me when I was younger by 2 bro's in the hall. I kept it to myself, until about 7 months back my hubby started saying about how we should maybe make an effort to go back & I burst into tears & said I cant go sit with hypocrites and told him why - Id told my counselor a few months beforehand - i told him it wasnt up for anymore discussion (didnt tell him who it was etc) - even tho it waws a different hall as we had moved I still couldnt go, I woild just be sat looking around trying to work out who was an abuser/been abused etc

Hes not said anything again, until last week we were talking about his mam being a "zealous" jw, sent him a message saying she missed having him at the convention with her (even tho we live at opposite end of country & wouldnt be with her anway).

He jokingly said to me if she goes on again, hes gonna ask her why they dont mention about £ paid out to abuse victims, & why they protect the abusers - I couldnt believe it, didnt know that he thought like that!

Anyway I now feel guilty that he think that beacuse of me and what if its all right its now going to be my fault at armageddon that he listened to me - i feel very messed up at times

At times, I feel guilty for reading & posting on here - sorry & no offence meant at all - as my name says I am one very confused person

undercover

Guilt is a useless emotion...but a powerful one. And people who know how will use it to control how others act or feel.

What is reallly insidous about his emotional tool is that it is not used by people we are already wary of, don't trust or don't like, but the very people that we already know, trust, rely on. Parents, siblings, friends, religion.

Many mothers (and some fathers) use guilt to attempt to control the thoughts, feelings and actions of their grown children. It's so common that many jokes are made about it. It is the standard comic routine of many a Jewish comedian who had an overbearing, guilt-inducing mother.

Even friends use guilt to get control their friends actions and feelings toward themselves. Afraid of losing them as friends or just some need to control.

That's how advice columnists make a living. Giving two minute lessons in how to handle manipulative, guilt-inducing friends and family.

Religion is one of the biggest abusers of this emotion. They guilt their adherents in to proving their love for a deity in the amount of money, time and resources they give to the church.

Of the religions that use guilt, cult like religions, such as the JWs, use it ruthlessly. Nothing you do is ever good enough. And you very salvation is dependant on your works. So if you have to prove your worthy of salvation and are constanly reminded to do more, the guilt builds and builds, no matter how much you give.

Once you realize the power of how this tool works and the kind of people and organizations that use it, you find yourself more resistant to it's effectivness. People no longer can 'guilt' you into doing something you don't want to do. Friends and family no longer drive you crazy with their mindgames and manipulation. You see what they're up to and you take measures to avoid those situations...or them, if necessary. You see through religions and other groups that want to use you to their own end.

Living a guilt free life is one important way to living a happy, satisfying life.

Heaven

As soon as someone tries to load me up with a Guilt Trip, my shields go up and I do not accept it. Guilt is not a True North Principle. It is designed to control and manipulate. And I tell people trying to pile guilt on me straight up that it is unacceptable. Nicely, but firmly.

You must set boundaries with people and you must identify to them when they are exhibiting unacceptable behaviour. If they refuse to be principled, excuse yourself and leave. Just walk away.